Happy Valentine's Day

For all it's commercialization and obvious marketing, Valentine's Day is more than just a manufactured holiday. Peal back the cynicism and pessimism for a moment and think about the meaning behind the day's focus. 

Love.

Volumes can and have been written on the subject. That's right, Love is the quintessential human emotion that drives and motives nearly all 7 billion of us. Having it, wanting it, needing it; it's not just the emotion but the gifts that come with being in love. I'm not just talking about romantic love you have with a significant other, but all kinds of love, from parental love to love of a pet. We all feel the need and want to have someone or something close to us. It's undeniable. Loving and being loved gives us a deeper purpose, a fuller richer feeling that comforts us and makes us feel valued. Love lightens the mood and provides inspiration. Granted, there are some downsides to be sure, but in the end, Love is a positive gift in life.  

However, the expression of that love is another story all together. Some people find it very hard to say how they truly feel. Self expression presents a road block to truly uncovering how they feel about someone and just how much that special person means to them. 

It isn't easy for some people to say I love you. It's even harder for some people to do the right thing regarding their loved ones. If a certain amount of cynical unhappiness invades your mind today, wipe away that jaded derision and think for a moment specifically about the people that you love, and that love you. No matter where they are, near or far, if you have any feelings for them don't waste any time letting them know. As cliche as it might sound, there's no time like the present, because tomorrow may never come. Don't waste a moment. Make room for that love to flourish. You might just find that those you love will be even more expressive about how they feel. Give it a shot!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Thanks for reading. Questions and Comments are welcome.

The Comfort Zone

Recently, I was having a conversation with someone and we talked about our comfort zones. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, ‘comfort zone’ refers to the locations, activities, emotions, and individuals in a person’s life that they are frequently exposed to. Generally, a person gravitates toward those elements that bring them a comfortable and safe feeling. You might define it as your daily routine. The point of the discussion focused on pushing that zone, expanding it and giving it more depth and whether it was always necessary. Now my personal view is most people, including myself, should continually push on that comfort zone because if you don’t, it will shrink.

I’ll explain. If you drive to work and always take the exact same route, you might become so used to that routine the thought of driving a different way might make you feel uncomfortable, or even a bit scared. Here’s a personal example for you. I usually eat out for lunch once a week. There’s a Subway two blocks away that I like so I usually find myself heading down there. Now I know Subway isn’t that great, but it’s convenient and I know the people that work there, so it’s comfortable. But, I can get pretty damned tired of sub sandwiches at times. I found that I wasn’t exploring all the other possibilities around me even though I was sick of my current situation. One day I just got so sick of subs I couldn’t even finish my sandwich. That’s when I realized I needed to get out and explore, push that comfort zone. Now, I trade off. One week I’ll go to my comfortable Subway shop, the next week I’ll try a new place. It satisfies my need for stability and my need for the ‘new’ nicely.

Okay, this may seem like a trivial example to explain how one should explore new and unfamiliar things in life. I realize that, but a lot of times, people need to start out small before they can tackle the really big challenges. Wadding into more dynamic things is better than jumping into the deep end and drowning, proverbially speaking of course. I have come to understand some things about myself; one of which is, I like learning new things and exposing myself to unfamiliar situations for the experience of it. I suppose it feeds into my need for adventure and the want to write about it later. There have been many times where my efforts to push on my comfort zone have lead to story inspiration. I like that. Others, however, aren’t so in tune with their wants and desires. Others aren’t even sure they could challenge themselves in such a manner. 

As the conversation we were having unfolded, I realized that other people need far less constant pressure to give them the motivation they need to try new things and keep life fresh. That different perspective made me think more about why motivation for me might not work for others and vice versa. But as the old saying goes “You won’t know unless you try.” So I say give it a try, even if it’s just going to a different sub shop. Think about it this way, you just might find a better tasting sandwich. 

Thanks for reading. Questions and comments are always welcome. 

How Do You Define Personal Success?

What a loaded question huh? I mean success has so many different facets doesn’t it. What category should we explore: financial, romantic, physical, emotional, academic, professional, spiritual? There are so many different types of success it’s hard to qualify a statement like “I’m successful.” It’s probably better to start by asking “Where does success begin?” For me, though, personal success is the most important. I mean, I’d love to be at the top of my professional field, making millions of dollars, after earning my Ph.D., but that won’t all come at once, and it’s certainly a lot of hard work, but would all of that mean anything if my own personal parameters of success weren’t met? Knowing what success means to you is probably the single most important step in actually achieving that success. If you really didn’t know where you were going or why you were pushing so hard for something, even if you achieved that goal, it probably would hold little value, at the very least when you were done, it might feel like a hollow victory.

My guess is even if your dreams and aspirations are vastly different from everyone else’s, if you hold a truly vested interest in what you are doing, you’ll find a whole lot more satisfaction in the endeavor. For a long time, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life, I bounced, I made odd choices, and I traveled around the world searching for something that would give me fulfillment. What I eventually realized is this. There’s nothing in this world that will fulfill my deepest desires and wants. Fulfillment and contentment come from within. Sorry to get all Zen on you, but if Buddha was here, he might agree with me. Throughout all my travels, my imagination and want for telling stories never diminished, never went away. I always had a story in my head, I always nurtured the desire to write. It wasn’t until I put aside other distractions that I realized writing is not only what I want to do, it’s what I need to do. Interestingly enough, it took me several more years after that realization to seriously commit to writing regardless of publication success. That’s where my personal success began to flourish. When I write, I feel successful, and that makes all the difference to me. In fact, I just received yet another rejection letter for a submission I sent in for consideration. But you know what, I'm good with that, because getting that letter is just confirmation that I'm trying.  

Like I said, personal success is the most important type of success to me. I think if you find that, the other types of success will follow, at least in some small part. Of course, there is no guarantee of reaching financial success because you’ve found your true professional calling. There’s a lot of starving artists and actors out there who are totally happy pursuing their dreams. But on the other side, I’m sure there are a few investment bankers swimming in cash that are just a bit unhappy that they sold their souls for monetary gain. As I’ve said before, finding balance in your life makes things worthwhile; knowing your own definition of success, makes it that much easier. Good luck.

Thanks for reading. Questions and Comments are welcome. 

Questing for Knowledge

So I've found that a lot of times, learning new things is a great way to find inspiration and motivation. I've always been fond of quirky little tidbits of information, whether it be about history, science, nature, you name it. I guess you could say I'm a student of everything. Okay, I really hate math, so you probably won't be seeing me crack open an Algebra book any time soon. My point is, knowledge of the things around us is important to me. The various ways in which we can find them is amazing. 

For the last year or so I've been a subscriber to Vsauce. It's a Youtube.com channel that's all about knowledge. Now the guy that runs it has several channels devoted to fun and interesting things available all across the internet, but his main focus is imparting knowledge. He shows an enthusiasm and thrill for what he's doing that makes learning infectious and fun. Here's an example of his work. 

I seriously could listen to this guy all day long. If my science classes in high school were this interesting I might have become a scientist. My point is, knowledge is a wonderful thing and you never know where you can get it. Keeping an open mind about learning is a great way to expand your mind and invite contemplation about the world around us and existence as a whole. If I'm not learning something new I feel like I'm stagnating. Personal improvement has always been important to me, finding knowledge is a vital key to that improvement, at least in my view. 

Do you hunger for knowledge? At the very least, learning little bits of knowledge will help you out when watching Jeopardy. Seriously, people don't like watching that show with me because I answer way too many of the clues. They think I'm a genius. Well, I'm not, I just pay attention and soak up information like a sponge. What about you?

Questions and Comments are welcome. Thanks for reading. 

How Do You Deal With The In Between Time?

Douglas Clark
-Head writer, The Inspiration Engine

I heard a story once where someone said “Live the dash”. The sentiment here comes from the notion that when you die, your grave stone would say something like 1975-2075. That little dash in the middle encompasses all of your life: every little thing, every big thing, every sadness, every joy, all your relationships and accomplishments, the failures and triumphs, the crushing defeats and the wonderful experiences, all you’ve ever known and all you will ever do. The advice here was to live that dash to its fullest, with the deepest of meanings and the greatest appreciation possible. That’s a pretty nice sentiment isn’t it? But I’m wondering something. Not every moment of your life is a mind-blowing experience of joy, or a heart wrenching assault of painful sorrow. You can’t fill every moment with some really cool experience, it’s just not possible. Even if you tried (which might be cool for a while), you’d be exhausted and need some down time anyway. No, what I’m thinking about is those moments, those days or weeks, even years perhaps where what you want and what you are striving for are still in the distance.

The day-to-day minutiae of your mission might not be exciting, or news worth, hell it might even seem boring. Working hard for a goal at times may seem arduously tedious. So in that situation, how do you relish the time you’re spending when it’s so banal? For me, I’ve noticed that sometimes I’ll daydream of that better day, imagining just when things get better or when I actually do achieve that forthcoming milestone. For example, writing my thesis was in fact the hardest academic endeavor I ever undertook. Let me tell you, I went through so many reviews I thought I was going to go insane. I read and re-read that thing so many times I knew the narrative by heart and could recite it without even reading it. So even though I knew the entire endeavor was worth it, that tedium seemed a bit much to try and appreciate as having great value. Obviously the work was necessary, but it’s hard to live that dash in a situation like that. So I imagined the finished product, the final version of my thesis and how awesome it would be. Doing that got me through. I guess in that case my daydreaming really paid off. Daydreaming can’t always be the answer, but is it realistic to think there’s a simple answer to dealing with tedium and boredom on your way to living the dash? Probably not, and my guess is a lot of trial and error is necessary to find the proper answer.

I do know one thing, concentrating on the negative aspects of your ‘down time’ is never going to help. The one constant in life is change. Regardless of whether or not you want to, you will change, physically, mentally, emotionally; it’s a product of being a living being in a dynamic society. That’s why the dull drums and boring minutiae of life are not things to concentrate on while you are striving toward your goals and living your mission. They won’t last. But they will change, whether you seek it or not. If you can recognize that change fast enough, well, you just might be able to make ‘living the dash’ something someone will want to write about in your obituary. And by the way, it just might make your life’s experience that much more awesome. Who wouldn’t want that?

Thanks for reading. Questions and comments are always welcome.  

What Can We Learn From Silence?

When you remove the noise and chatter of life, when you remove the distractions and supposed responsibilities, when you quiet the hustling cacophony and mind numbing drivel, what do you have?  Turn off the TV, turn off the cell phone, shut the windows, click off the radio and close the door. When you pause from your day-to-day routine and allow the silence to embrace you, let the agitation of everything fall away, let yourself relax and listen to your mind as it unwinds from the unnerving tension you constantly battle. What do you hear?

Can you relax enough to allow your deep inner voice to express itself? So often our ‘responsibilities’ get in the way of our selves. We are more than or jobs, our bills, our possessions. We are our hopes, our dreams, and our passions. Or at least we should be. Some people swear by meditation, others call it prayer; others encapsulate their mental decompression in yoga, or Tai chi. Some people just sleep. It's the release from mental oppression that those people seek, and sometimes find. That release is worth pursuing. But, too often the world demands more than we can give, and like petulant youngsters, we insist on trying to rise to that demand, not realizing that we cast away our true passions for the rat race that is today’s society.

If you were to just listen to your inner voice in that silent void you created, would it speak to you? Would you listen if it did? What if you heard that inner voice tell you a truth you didn’t want to accept or confront, would it then be something you could heed? Distractions have a way of blinding us. They take away the mind’s eye’s ability to see what is truly important. I find myself constantly reminding myself that I am in this journey of life racing only against myself. Yes, I can use others as a guide, role model, inspiration, but I desperately try not to compare myself to others. When I do, invariably I start to feel less successful, less capable, and less able. Although, sometimes I can see just how much better I’ve done than others, and it makes me feel undeservedly superior. Listening to my silent void I constantly hear one very specific thing: You can do better.

I’m not a perfectionist; I’m not a workaholic; I’m not a crazed fanatic. I see others that are so driven by one obsessive goal they forsake almost everything else for their prize. I can’t do that, but I do have goals. I’m on a mission, however. I have dreams; getting published, finding true love, financial independence, freedom to travel, gaining knowledge and enlightenment, but none of them are obsessively dominant. Some might say I’m well rounded. Am I better than those obsessively driven alpha types or are they better than me? When I sit and listen to the silence I don’t hear their voices, I don’t see their dreams, and I don’t feel their passions. I feel mine.

In the end, the silence tells me that I alone exist in my mind. Cognito ergo sum as Rene Descartes would say. That’s the beginning. Fortunately, if you listen to the silence, you might learn what direction to take next. Are you listening?

Picture credit goes to: Blue energy tornado by Juri Hahhalev, www.crestock.com

Thanks for reading. Comments and questions are welcome?

Attack of the Resolutionists

Every year I hope it doesn’t come. Every year I hope against hope that the inevitable will somehow be avoided and peace will reign. I cross my fingers, watch the New Year’s Eve ball drop and pray that the Resolutionists won’t come, I pray that this year will be the year we are spared their terrible onslaught, but they always come. Once that clock strikes midnight, millions of Americans are infected with the Resolution virus and spawn a mass army of New Year joy fueled “This year I’m going to…” mania. They amass as a unified force to invade the common person’s stomping grounds and take over. 

You’ll notice them immediately. Once normal coworkers or friends will be reading some new book, touting some new diet, packing a strange lunch they must concoct in the break room; they’ll begin telling you all about the virtues and minutia of gym workouts and how amazing it is getting up an hour early to go for a three mile run. You may notice a group of them flocked together to go for a mid day lunch walk while you’re at work. They huddle together while they dominate the sidewalk but charge ahead like brain starving zombies on a quest to find fresh meat. The produce section of supermarkets will appear to have been ransacked leaving nothing but a few bruised gala apples, some smashed grapes and of course the eggplant (does anyone know how to cook them properly). Oddly enough the broccoli is usually the first to be devoured, and if you ask me that’s just fine. Resolutionists deserve that bit of torture ;-)

One place you’ll be able to spot a Resolutionist is at the gym. One of the most frequent accompanying phrases to the “This year I’m going to…” battle cry is “go to the gym more often,” much to my chagrin. See I’ve been a devout weight trainer for years. I do in fact stick with it. So you can imagine my frustration in January and February (sometimes into March for the truly fanatical Resolutionist) when the floor of the gym is inundated with newly christened health nuts bent on questing for a perfect Greek body, but lacking any common sense or any basic knowledge of body building techniques, or basic gym etiquette for that matter. I’ve found it humorous and infuriating all at the same time watching these people struggle at something they’ve ill-prepared themselves for. 

Trust me, at 12:01 am, January 1^st, on whatever year it may be saying “This year I’m going to go to the gym more often,” is nowhere near enough prep time to truly set yourself up for success. Off handed motivational decrees usually wind up on the mental rubbish heap specifically because they were rash, off the cuff quips. Yes they may have meant it when they said it, but Resolutionists lack proper motivation, resolve, and persistence. Therein lies their greatest weakness; like the may fly, the Resolutionist has a very short shelf life. By late winter, early spring their mass army has been decimated by pizza, tacos, TV, the couch, and lethargy. Temptation is their mortal enemy, and it destroys every Resolutionist army every year without fail. For the Resolutionist, as initially motivated as they are, simply cannot win. They are destined to lose because in their minds the first failure is their ultimate defeat. They fail, pack it in, and call it a year.

In response to this horrible onslaught we suffer every year, I call on you to rise up, not as a Resolutionist, but as a Healthinista! Devote yourself to overall health, mind, body, soul, perspective. Base your actions on overall life goals, mapped out for the improvement of all aspects of your life, not just some whimsical “This year I’m going to…”decree. Start slow, start right, get informed, and keep at it even if you fail. In fact if you fall off the wagon get right back up. Revel in your own persistence to keep trying even though the first or even tenth time you’re still trying to get it right. Motivate yourself through your failures to try again, Each time. Rise up, take charge of your life and help defeat the mediocre armies of the Resolutionists!

Thanks for reading. Questions and comments are always welcome.