Showing posts with label control. Show all posts
Showing posts with label control. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.


Today our quote comes from Arthur Golden.

What is Adversity? 

How do you deal with Adversity?  How do you handle it?  Adversity, like a challenge, is something to overcome when driving on your mission in life.  But Adversity is something greater and much more sinister than a mere challenge.  Adversity is usually a prolonged, serious struggle, a difficult and stressful hardship that won’t simply go away or disappear if you give it enough time.  It’s the giant gorilla in the room if you will.  Sometimes it is a physical disability, sometimes, it’s a mental one.  Sometimes adversity comes from society, maybe it’s legal troubles, or persons bent on causing you distress.  Unfortunately, adversity comes in many forms, and it haunts many people in various ways.  I for one have dealt with adversity for many years.  If anyone of you has ever set foot into family court, you know exactly what I mean.  I’ve also dealt with people suffering with psychological problems, who don’t even realize the harm they are causing.  You too might be dealing with something similar, or even if it’s totally different, that adversity still remains.

Can you cope with it?

So how do we deal with this giant gorilla in the room?  I mean it’s a monster and he won’t go away.  More than likely he’s going to smash up the place.  How do we stop him?  Okay, I’m using a metaphor here, but hopefully you get the idea.  And the answer is, that giant gorilla probably won’t just go away, and he probably will smash up the place, despite your best efforts.  Now I’m not saying his to dishearten you.  No, actually I’m saying this to liberate you.  Life is full of sweet and wonderful things, but also harsh and terrible things.  Accept that.  Sometimes bad things happen, no matter your preparedness, your contemplations, you plans and contingencies.  They happen regardless.  Now, some accidents and missteps happen because you were unprepared, so by all means, try to prepare.  Know this however; unexpected things occur for which you cannot prepare.  But that doesn’t mean you have to just accept the strife and be miserable. 
Whatever your adversity is, DO NOT let it define your life.  Do not let it envelop your life or dictate every action and thought you take or have.  Your personal adversity is not your master, your adversary yes, but not your master.  Once you let it take control, burrowing deep into your mind, it will take over.  So for every thought of gloom and doom, match it with a positive one.  Let yourself experience as many positive things as possible, despite the adversity. 

Even though I know my particular and personal adversity won’t go away any time soon, I know I will NOT let it dominate my life.  If I did, my life would be consumed by it.  Even if your adversity seems insurmountable, just keep in mind there was a time when it didn’t control your life.  If you truly believe, you can take back control from it as well.  Good Luck.


If you have questions or comments, I'd love to hear them.  Thanks for reading.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Stay positive, it's worth it!

There are highs and lows in everyone's life.  It's a fact and there's pretty much nothing you can do about it.  Good times and bad times.  It can be amazing and shocking just how fast things can turn around from bad to good, or good to bad.  There's an inherent unpredictability to life that is unavoidable.  And the more you try to control your life, and life around you, the more closed off you can and will be to that sudden and dramatic change.  Why is that bad?  Because when you control you become stuck; stuck in patterns and attitudes that insulate and protect you from things that seem harmful.  But there's a price for that false security.  And it's your happiness. 

Keep and open mind.  Fight everyday against the rigid and cold mindset of security.  You must believe that things will get better, you must believe that it won't always be hard, sad, cold, lonely, and depressing.  Change doesn't happen overnight, but the direction of your life can, especially if you keep an eye out for the good things.  Stay positive!


If you have a question or a comment feel free to reply.  Thanks for reading!

sunrise over smoky mountains

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Hang on a Second!



Dost thou love life, then do not squander time,
for that's the stuff life is made of.
Benjamin Franklin



Have you ever just felt like no matter how busy or pressed for time you are, you need to just take a second out and stop?  The world careens around us, seemingly out of our control or influence, which it is, but your life lies in your control.  You should take that control and use it to your fullest.  Don’t worry, the world will always command your time, demand your attention, and be a force you cannot deny or ignore. So if that’s true, why give it your undivided attention, 24/7?  The simple answer is you don’t have to.  Taking a few moments out and diverting your attention to something that Really, Truly matters is not a crime and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it.

Today is a great example of this.  I was dropping my little one off at school.  She has been having a bit of trouble the last two weeks getting it in gear in the morning despite my prodding.  We were a bit late but I just had to stop and give her my total attention, look her in the eye and ask what was wrong.  We both needed that.  Now we agreed to talk about it more later, but that moment of shutting the world out was important.   Not only does it show my daughter she is important, it shows I know how to prioritize and give attention to what I value.

Sometimes recognizing what we really should be giving our attention to can be difficult.  There are clues and warnings, signs and symptoms, but if we don't take a moment out every so often, you'll totally miss those signs.  It might take a conscious effort at first to make yourself pause fo a moment and just look at what's going on around you.  You know there's an old saying, "if you don't look up once in a while, the world will pass you by".  It's true, what's even worse is the things you care most about will also pass you by.  And the people and things we truly care about make life worth living in the first place.  Don't let them slide through your life unnoticed!

A green hedge maze

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