Recently, I was having a conversation with someone and we
talked about our comfort zones. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, ‘comfort
zone’ refers to the locations, activities, emotions, and individuals in a
person’s life that they are frequently exposed to. Generally, a person
gravitates toward those elements that bring them a comfortable and safe feeling. You might define it as your daily routine. The point of the discussion
focused on pushing that zone, expanding it and giving it more depth and whether it was always necessary. Now my
personal view is most people, including myself, should continually push on that
comfort zone because if you don’t, it will shrink.
I’ll explain. If you drive to work and always take the exact
same route, you might become so used to that routine the thought of driving a different
way might make you feel uncomfortable, or even a bit scared. Here’s a personal example
for you. I usually eat out for lunch once a week. There’s a Subway two blocks
away that I like so I usually find myself heading down there. Now I know Subway
isn’t that great, but it’s convenient and I know the people that work there, so
it’s comfortable. But, I can get pretty damned tired of sub sandwiches at
times. I found that I wasn’t exploring all the other possibilities around me
even though I was sick of my current situation. One day I just got so sick of
subs I couldn’t even finish my sandwich. That’s when I realized I needed to get
out and explore, push that comfort zone. Now, I trade off. One week I’ll go to
my comfortable Subway shop, the next week I’ll try a new place. It satisfies my
need for stability and my need for the ‘new’ nicely.
Okay, this may seem like a trivial example to explain how
one should explore new and unfamiliar things in life. I realize that, but a lot
of times, people need to start out small before they can tackle the really big
challenges. Wadding into more dynamic things is better than jumping into
the deep end and drowning, proverbially speaking of course. I have come to
understand some things about myself; one of which is, I like learning new
things and exposing myself to unfamiliar situations for the experience of it.
I suppose it feeds into my need for adventure and the want to write about it
later. There have been many times where my efforts to push on my comfort zone have
lead to story inspiration. I like that. Others, however, aren’t so in tune with
their wants and desires. Others aren’t even sure they could challenge themselves
in such a manner.
As the conversation we were having unfolded, I realized that other people need far less constant pressure to give them the motivation they need to try new things and keep life fresh. That different perspective made me think more about why motivation for me might not work for others and vice versa. But as the old saying goes “You won’t know unless you try.” So
I say give it a try, even if it’s just going to a different sub shop. Think
about it this way, you just might find a better tasting sandwich.
Thanks for reading. Questions and comments are always
welcome.
I would like you to post a reply to:
ReplyDelete1.) An example of where you went outside your "comfort zone" and really put yourself out there by risking more than just a less than tasty sandwich. An example of both a successful effort and a failed attempt would be preferable.
2.) Explain how to cope with failed efforts to expand this comfort zone. By failed efforts I'm referring to when the result of pushing your individual comfort zone produces less than favorable results or even downright negative experiences. How does one not let several setbacks keep them from trying again?
1. The positive - Just recently I went out to a formal dance; a mixture of Waltz and Polka. No I can’t really dance and have had no formal training, but I wanted to do it. The people there were extremely open and willing to overlook my obvious lack of experience. I messed up dance steps left and right, but I did it. Being highly visible on the dance floor like that is something that I would have totally shied away from in years past. The possibility of screwing up and facing public humiliation (at least that’s how I used to see it) was extremely high. However, everything turned out well and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
ReplyDeleteThe negative – My first job out of college: My title said editor, but in reality I was a telephone researcher. I hated talking on the phone, even worse if it was to strangers. To make matters worse, the people I had to call didn’t want to talk to me either. My job success hinged on getting answers and writing reports. I thought if I just pushed through it, forced myself to try every day, I’d get better and feel more comfortable doing it. I was wrong. I struggled for three months until I had to quite or be fired. That hurt, but I learned what I was capable of and what I couldn’t do.
2. First, every person must face each new endeavor striving for success, but being aware of possible failure. Failure is a part of life and it has to be accounted for. However, life does not have to be approached alone and it shouldn’t be. Setbacks can be counteracted by having others share in your new activity. As they say, there is strength in numbers. On a personal level, I would say stay focused on things you enjoy and expand from that. It would be pointless to go try range shooting if you hate guns, or surfing if you can’t swim. However, if someone is faced with serious setbacks or negative experiences that prove painful, either physical or emotional, reexamine why you’re choosing the activities you’re choosing. They may just provide a clue as to how to change direction. Setbacks are not etched-in-stone failures that can never be undone. Even in failure, pushing the comfort zone teaches you what you are capable or not capable of. That in itself is a push worth the effort.
Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI think that's very practical advice on how to deal with setbacks so that they don't become a negative focal point when putting yourself out there.
I especially like the advice on not facing adversity alone because so many people often don't think they can or even consider reaching out to others when they're in need.