Douglas Clark
-Head writer, The Inspiration Engine
-Head writer, The Inspiration Engine
Sometimes I don’t care. I mean I just don’t give a damn.
It’s not always and the feeling goes away pretty quick, but it happens
nonetheless. I mean, devoting all your time and energy to positive thinking is
great and all, but sometimes, it just doesn’t work. Sometimes you just have to
say screw it. Forgive me if that’s blunt and crude, but it’s true. That
negativity seeps in and takes hold; it’s like a poison. And in real life, every
once in a while it wins.
The trick is to make sure negativity’s win is only
once in a while.
Right now, I’m struggling to get my book ready for
publication. It’s a long, slow, involved, long, slow, difficult, long, slow,
and stressful process. Anyone else who’s been through it can attest to that.
And it feels like it’s going to take a thousand lifetimes to get finished. Keep
in mind, the story is actually finished. Right now I’m just working on getting
it ready for readers to actually enjoy. I mean, I’d love for you to read The
Odyssey of Ryou Un Maru right now! But you can’t, because it isn’t ready… yet. Anyway,
the point is, it’s hard and I’m struggling with the thought that even after all
this, I’m still motivated to get it out there albeit much later than I
originally planned.
Also, there are times when I ‘just want to write’, but
that’s only a fantasy I indulge in periodically. Part of being a writer is
marketing what you’ve written. It’s not the most glamorous thing but it is
necessary. It’s a weird dichotomy but a necessary one for anyone that wants to
make it as a published author. I know that, but it still sucks. In a perfect
(read: fantasy) world, I’d just write the books and a legion of editors,
proofreaders, and publishers would do all the grunt work of getting it to
press. But that is just not the case, especially since my name isn’t StephenKing, JK Rawling, Dick Francis, Dan Brown, Jackie Collins, or any other
best-selling author you could name off the top of your head. It’s when I
compare myself to these successful folks, look at what they’ve accomplished and
then look at my small body of work I get disheartened and just want to quit. A
little guy voice in my head starts whispering negativity and cynicism and I
start to believe him. That ‘just screw it’ attitude sinks in and I want to quit. Man I Hate that guy!
I listen to him every once in a while and agree. It’s then I
wish I had someone to smack me in the face (proverbially… or maybe actually). I
hate failure; I hate not even trying waaaaay more. So I cry a little bit,
sniffle, feel sad for a while and then do a ball check and suck it up. Because
I just can’t quit.
I have found a few things to keep me going. The latest book
I’ve
Even though it’s taking a billion billion times longer than
I want or could have believed, I’m still on my mission to be a successful
writer. Hell, I might not ever make it, but I just won’t give up. Is that
pathetic or perseverance? I don’t know, I guess maybe success is the only way
to answer that for sure…
Thanks for reading. Questions and Comments are welcome!
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