21 Days to a Good Habit Revisited

Back on November 29, I discussed the idea of forming new habits and what it took to get something incorporated into your life. Well, in an effort to practice what I preached, I attempted to make a morning run a new facet of my quest for health. When I wrote that post, I had been running in the morning for about five days. I can tell you now that almost a month later, I have run a total of 23 times. I decided to run Monday through Friday and take the weekends off. I don’t need to beat myself up, just form a new habit. I won’t go so far as to say getting up at the butt crack of dawn, dressing in running sweats and stepping out into the brisk almost freezing air is an ingrained ritual yet, but it definitely has made an impression on my thinking, and the way my body feels.

You see, I remember having a job during high school. Every Saturday and Sunday I had to get up at 5:30 am, to get to work by 6. When you’re a teenager that is EARLY; super early. I did it for years, going so far as to keep doing it all through college. Then, when I joined the navy, I kept getting up early, because that’s what you do in the navy, so I equated getting up early with work, responsibilities, unpleasant activities and fatigue.  I knew deep down inside that the real reason I didn’t get up early and exercise was a mental block. It’s not that I couldn’t, it was that I didn’t want to. And for a long time, I let that line of thinking win out. We all do it, sometimes consciously, sometimes not. I’ve always been one to challenge myself, or at least I think I do. Sometimes I notice I’m slipping into a rut, a slump, or some kind of malaise that keeps me from reaching a new level of understanding, ability or thinking. Perhaps I’m just a bit overzealous in the things I choose, but when it came to running in the morning, I thought “If I can conquer that inhibition, it would be a great breakthrough.”

I can’t really say what motivated me more this time around compared to the multiple times in the past I’ve thought about doing a morning run. The important thing is that I recognized the motivation this time around and didn’t let logic or rationalizations get in the way. As the famed sports shoe company Nike is famous for saying in their slogans, “Just do it.” So I just did it. And you know what, I have this feeling that tells me my morning run will become an ingrained habit. It’s a good thing too, because I feel great and think clearer all throughout the day because I make the extra effort. Remember, self improvement is never a waste of time. Apparently, it’s only 21 days away.

Thanks for reading. Comments and questions are welcome. 

Take Care of Yourself

When we are Young

When we are young, our parents and family have a responsibility to take care of us.  As we grow, they should take the time to nurture and protect, teach and instruct.  As children, sometimes we don't understand why those things are important or what the bother is, but children have a voracious appetite for learning.  That learning should be encouraged and reinforced as much as possible.  Teaching children to look at things from multiple perspectives and to have an open mind prepares them for the massive amount of conflict and confusion life has to offer.  Parents should teach by positive example so children can adjust to life as an adolescent and eventually as an adult.  But what happens when parents fail at preparing children for life?

Children are smart and capable. They can learn to cope, but if they aren’t given proper guidance, their coping skills will be inadequate and inefficient.  I do my best on a daily basis teaching my daughter how to cope, even with things that are upsetting, difficult, and troubling.  Don’t get me wrong, I focus on the positive, but it’s impossible to ignore the negative aspects of life and expect things to turn out okay.  

Unfortunately, I know people that have terrible coping skills because their parents taught them nothing positive.  What happens is an unfortunate cycle of negativity that accomplishes nothing but keeping those people in a dark place. They aren’t really capable of taking care of themselves, because what they learned was piecemeal, ad hoc, and unguided.  The consequences of this are devastating.  I have experienced an element of this.  Someone I know keeps asking advice only to ignore it, and sometimes gets mad at me if they don’t like what they hear.  I have experienced having this person lash out at me and people I know for odd reasons.  Now you might find yourself in uncomfortable situations where the other person takes out their frustrations on you, or someone you know.  You must recognize that they aren’t able to cope well and what they are doing is the only coping mechanism they have.  They aren’t able to take care of themselves properly.

What to Do

If you find yourself acting like this, stop.  It might be hard, but recognizing there is a problem is an amazing first step in solving it.  Some of you might remember the GI Joe cartoon.  At the end, there was always a Public Service Announcement where one of the characters would say “Knowing is half the battle.”  It’s true.  Part of earning to take care of yourself properly requires recognizing if you aren’t doing a very good job if it right now.  Sometimes, getting through to a person with this problem is impossible.  But I would suggest that you start with yourself. 

Remember, you can’t really take care of someone else if you can’t even take care of yourself.  There’s no shame in asking for help either.  Sometimes it takes a simple request for assistance.  If you can learn to accept your faults and rise above them, you can take those first difficult steps in becoming self-reliant.    

Comments and questions are welcome.  Thanks for reading.