Let's Be Positive

by Douglas Clark

You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity. ~Epicurus

When things are their hardest, you really need people around you that are of high quality. Positive, honest, and genuinely caring relationships make life so much easier. Forging relationships with even just one person that sees the positive and virtuous elements in life will lift your spirits and change your perspective on life, your outlook, and your demeanor. I count myself fortunate to know several positive, virtuous people. And to be honest, I’m glad they are in my life for the simple fact that they help me to see things clearly. It is especially true when life and the negativity that sometimes clings to it seem to attack you.

There’s an old saying that goes something like “you know your real friends when things go wrong”, and that’s really true. Those that stick around and help you out when you are feeling low, downtrodden, beaten by life, and sad truly deserved respect and admiration. Not everyone you know will stick with you when life gets rough, even if it isn’t your fault. Drawing on their strength and support is invaluable. And those who have such wonderful people in their lives know what I’m talking about. These people are an inspiration in their own right, even if they don’t believe it or are unaware of just how supportive they are.

I’ve made mistakes in my life and said the wrong thing, but I’ve always tried to communicate as effectively as I could. To me, the ability to really listen to what the other person is saying, but also how they are feeling makes a true difference in understanding their perspective. Now, I have also experienced people that care for nothing but churning the hate and stirring up controversy. The key is avoiding that type of negativity and focusing on the positive. Obviously that is easier said than done, but if you continually steer yourself back toward the positive, you might just find that it becomes a habit.

Adversity is a fact of life. It cannot be avoided, but it can be mitigated. If others you know are more successful, more focused, more motivated, or just happier, look to them for inspiration. Ask them what keeps them so positive and try to emulate their style. At least attempting to change your ways is better than submitting to apathy.

Thanks for reading.
Questions and comments are welcome.

DouglasHClark.com

Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.

Today our quote comes from Arthur Golden.

What is Adversity? 

How do you deal with Adversity?  How do you handle it?  Adversity, like a challenge, is something to overcome when driving on your mission in life.  But Adversity is something greater and much more sinister than a mere challenge.  Adversity is usually a prolonged, serious struggle, a difficult and stressful hardship that won’t simply go away or disappear if you give it enough time.  It’s the giant gorilla in the room if you will.  Sometimes it is a physical disability, sometimes, it’s a mental one.  Sometimes adversity comes from society, maybe it’s legal troubles, or persons bent on causing you distress.  Unfortunately, adversity comes in many forms, and it haunts many people in various ways.  I for one have dealt with adversity for many years.  If anyone of you has ever set foot into family court, you know exactly what I mean.  I’ve also dealt with people suffering with psychological problems, who don’t even realize the harm they are causing.  You too might be dealing with something similar, or even if it’s totally different, that adversity still remains.

Can you cope with it?

So how do we deal with this giant gorilla in the room?  I mean it’s a monster and he won’t go away.  More than likely he’s going to smash up the place.  How do we stop him?  Okay, I’m using a metaphor here, but hopefully you get the idea.  And the answer is, that giant gorilla probably won’t just go away, and he probably will smash up the place, despite your best efforts.  Now I’m not saying his to dishearten you.  No, actually I’m saying this to liberate you.  Life is full of sweet and wonderful things, but also harsh and terrible things.  Accept that.  Sometimes bad things happen, no matter your preparedness, your contemplations, you plans and contingencies.  They happen regardless.  Now, some accidents and missteps happen because you were unprepared, so by all means, try to prepare.  Know this however; unexpected things occur for which you cannot prepare.  But that doesn’t mean you have to just accept the strife and be miserable. 

Whatever your adversity is, DO NOT let it define your life.  Do not let it envelop your life or dictate every action and thought you take or have.  Your personal adversity is not your master, your adversary yes, but not your master.  Once you let it take control, burrowing deep into your mind, it will take over.  So for every thought of gloom and doom, match it with a positive one.  Let yourself experience as many positive things as possible, despite the adversity. 

Even though I know my particular and personal adversity won’t go away any time soon, I know I will NOT let it dominate my life.  If I did, my life would be consumed by it.  Even if your adversity seems insurmountable, just keep in mind there was a time when it didn’t control your life.  If you truly believe, you can take back control from it as well.  Good Luck.

If you have questions or comments, I'd love to hear them.  Thanks for reading.