Knock Knock!

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.  ~Francis Bacon

How often do you create opportunities for success in your life? You might have heard the old saying “Opportunity only knocks once,” or “When opportunity knocks, answer it”. They’re cute little sayings aren’t they? But do you notice something about the way they are structured? I’ll give you a minute to reread them….

Did you see it? Well, if you saw what I saw you’ll recognize that both of those sayings are rather passive in regards to you and what you should do. Think about it. Opportunity knocks, meaning it will come to you. Really? I’ve always had this sort of ridiculous notion that opportunity was like a cloud of positive energy that would one day float by my apartment door and lightly rap upon my door knocker. All I had to do was wait. Now I realize that’s an incredible waste of time.

If we think about what Francis Bacon says about opportunity, we should all be out hunting that misty cloud of energy trying to wring out all the opportunity we can get. And that’s exactly what you should be doing. Getting out there and making things happen is what life should be about. There’s a reason why couch potatoes aren’t wildly successful, except knowing what’s on TV; they aren’t doing anything. You can’t seize the day if you’ve already seized the couch.

Just a few days ago, I once again submitted some of my writings to a publisher. In fact, I submitted another short story and several poems. No one is going to come knocking on my door begging me to submit my stories to their magazine. So I’ve got to make those publishing opportunities happen myself. And I’m going to have to continue to foster those opportunities if I want to be successful. You might not be an aspiring author, but I’m sure there’s something positive you’d love to be doing right now; some dream you always wanted to come true…

The question is, what are you doing to make that dream come true?

Thanks for reading. Questions and comments are welcome.

Today's Blessings

What are five things you are thankful for today?

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Can you fill out that list? It shouldn’t be too hard. Give it even a little bit of thought and I’m sure you could extend that list to seven or ten, maybe even twelve or more. I’m sure if you wrote a list like this once in a while it would be easy. But, could you do that list every day and not repeat the same thing two days in a row? Now, could you do that for the entire week? The entire month? How about a whole year?

You see, in my effort to retrain my mind to think more positively, I’ve dedicated myself to doing a list just like this every day for the entire month of May. Sounds silly doesn’t it? Really though, to me, it seems too easy to get caught up in negativity, counterproductive thinking, despair, all the sorts of things that get in the way of us making our lives the way we want them to be. The power of positive thinking might sound super cheesy, but how often do you deliberately think positively to improve your mood or outlook? I know a few people who are quiet adept at doing just that. However, I also know many people, including myself, that get lost in the negativity (at least for just a little bit).

I think the great effort of our lives should be investing in our experiences, our understandings, our knowledge, and our perceptions. It might be really cool to look around our houses or apartments and marvel at all the stuff we’ve accumulated. It might seem pretty neat to take a joy ride in the fancy car we own or spend a night out on the town burning through a few hundred dollars. Yeah, that might all be cool, for a while. But what else is there, if you don’t explore even the smallest of positives in your life? 

Yesterday, my list read that I was thankful for sunshine, peace and quiet, pizza, memories of good times, and friends. The day before that, all five were completely different. Tomorrow, I’ll list five new ones. There is an abundance of positiveness in this world. If you have to deliberately show yourself what that is before you can readily recognize it, so be it. Once you learn to see the good in your life without difficulty, the negative will melt away and you’ll be left with a positive glow. Anything that helps you along in your life's mission is worth it.

What’s your list going to say?

Thanks for reading. Questions and Comments are welcome. 

What's Your Excuse?

Excuses are the worst. We all make them, even if they are just little ones. But excuses rob us of progress. The worst thing about making excuses is that sometimes, often times we’re not even aware that what we are saying really are excuses. They may seem like practical thought-out reasons something cannot be accomplished; they may seem like a logical progression derived from the facts at hand. They may just seem comfortable and reasonable. You’ve probably heard or said something similar: “I can’t afford it,” “I don’t have enough time,” “there isn’t anyone to help me,” “I don’t know enough about it,” “I don’t want to do it alone,” “It sounds too complicated,” “It’s all their fault,” “I’m not to blame.”

At the heart of them all they are just jabs of negativity robbing us of our goals, sabotaging our successes and fueling our discontent. The trouble is, we get so used to saying and hearing these sorts of things, they become second nature, comfortable, even reliable. Getting stuck in an excuse pattern is dangerous, because that cycle of negativity feeds on itself and before you know it, your entire way of thinking is adversely affected to the point where you can’t even see the positive thing you once dreamed of attaining.

I’ve made excuses; I’ve even believed them and convinced myself I was right. For years I thought I couldn’t learn to play the Saxophone, because I didn’t have time for lessons, there was no time in my day, I didn’t have an instrument. Notice the negativity there? Well, I slowly saved up enough money and bought a sax, then devoted just 10 minutes a day to practicing and within a few months I could do it. 

I also made excuses about writing. For a long time I kept telling myself I had no time. I kept procrastinating and putting it off. I’d tell myself that in some far off distance future ‘when I had the time’ I would write. I’d say things like “When I graduate I’ll start writing,” “When I go on vacation I’ll write,” “I’ll do it on the weekend.” I convinced myself that writing existed in some vague ethereal plan of ‘the future.’ Of course that was folly. I lied to myself to cover up the truth. And the truth was that I didn’t have any discipline to write ‘now.’ I still dreamed about it and sporadically put pen to paper, but had no consistency. I’ve recounted this next part of the story before but it bears repeating. I had a discussion with my brother, who said “Maybe you’re not really a writer. Maybe you should just give up on it, because you don’t seem to care about it enough to actually write.” You see that was like a punch in the face. Me; not a writer? Who the hell was he to say that? I’ll tell you. At that point he was the person who saw through the excuses.

That discussion changed my perspective and a year later, I have the first draft of a novel completed! Once we strip away the layers of excuses and the comfort they bring we are exposed to the truth. If you really want something, you CAN make it happen. You just have to believe in yourself and your abilities. I’m not saying everything is possible, but if you really try you can reach your goals. The positive state of mind can reinforce your resolve just as much as the negative state of mind can erode it. 

Choose the positive perspective. It can start as easily as changing the way you speak. Speak in positive terms like: “I can do x,” as opposed to “I can’t do x.” I’ve been reminded of this technique recently and I’m amazed at just how negative some of my thinking has been. Find help, ask a friend and really start critiquing how you think, speak, and perceive the world. Expose the excuses and clear the road for positivity.   

"Anything unattempted remains impossible"

Thanks for reading. Questions and Comments are welcome.

Happy Valentine's Day

For all it's commercialization and obvious marketing, Valentine's Day is more than just a manufactured holiday. Peal back the cynicism and pessimism for a moment and think about the meaning behind the day's focus. 

Love.

Volumes can and have been written on the subject. That's right, Love is the quintessential human emotion that drives and motives nearly all 7 billion of us. Having it, wanting it, needing it; it's not just the emotion but the gifts that come with being in love. I'm not just talking about romantic love you have with a significant other, but all kinds of love, from parental love to love of a pet. We all feel the need and want to have someone or something close to us. It's undeniable. Loving and being loved gives us a deeper purpose, a fuller richer feeling that comforts us and makes us feel valued. Love lightens the mood and provides inspiration. Granted, there are some downsides to be sure, but in the end, Love is a positive gift in life.  

However, the expression of that love is another story all together. Some people find it very hard to say how they truly feel. Self expression presents a road block to truly uncovering how they feel about someone and just how much that special person means to them. 

It isn't easy for some people to say I love you. It's even harder for some people to do the right thing regarding their loved ones. If a certain amount of cynical unhappiness invades your mind today, wipe away that jaded derision and think for a moment specifically about the people that you love, and that love you. No matter where they are, near or far, if you have any feelings for them don't waste any time letting them know. As cliche as it might sound, there's no time like the present, because tomorrow may never come. Don't waste a moment. Make room for that love to flourish. You might just find that those you love will be even more expressive about how they feel. Give it a shot!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Thanks for reading. Questions and Comments are welcome.

The Sum Total of Your Life Should Not Reflect the Negative

Have you ever wondered why it seems so easy to lose motivation, get discouraged, become downtrodden and unhappy? At first glance it might appear that life is mostly negative, full of unpleasantness and grief; what with all the suffering and unhappiness in the world, the idea is easy to believe. But it’s not true. You might wonder though, why does the negative seem to get more attention? I would say it’s force of habit. Really! Think about your day-to-day life. Does your car break down every day? Does your cat run away all the time? Does your girlfriend break up with you repeatedly and often? Well, unless something is seriously wrong in your life, none of those things happen with enough frequency to truly be a daily event. The emotional impact, however, is significant, and that is why you dwell on it.

This morning, for no reason at all (actually there is a mechanical reason), my car decided to not start. What a pain in the ass, right? My daughter had to get to school, I had to get to work, and we both didn’t have time for this kind of inconvenience. Fortunately, we only live seven blocks from school, so I walked her there and we were only about five minutes late. I’m pretty mechanical minded and I figured my car battery was dying, so I got a jump start and the car was off to the races, sort of speak. Actually I was right off to the auto repair shop. While driving, I realized that even though this whole scenario was a royal pain, it wasn’t the norm in my life.  That’s why it was so bothersome, because it was so outside the norm. Now, my car requires maintenance and repair on occasion, some planned, some obviously not so planned. So I just have to deal with it. For the majority of the time, I get in, turn the key and drive away. So why don’t I get a giant euphoric feeling of joy every day the care works properly? Well, it’s because I expect the car to function properly.

You see, events in our lives that are unexpected, emotionally jarring, either positively or negatively make an impression. They have meaning because they wake us up from our malaise, that fog we hypnotize ourselves with. In a way that dazed phase of distraction is a good thing. It allows us to follow a routine we need to cope. But, and it’s a big but, that distraction can also make it harder to deal with the negative when it comes along, give it false power and significance. Don’t let that happen. 

Remind yourself that for every time your car breaks down, or your dog runs away, there are days, weeks, even months in a row where good, positive things happen, because you planned for them, make the right decisions and stuck with it. Life’s curving and winding roads are a test. Don’t let them distract you and become negative. Each bump in the road is a chance to regain focus. Remember, staying focused will help direct you on your life’s mission. So, keep your eyes on the road!

Thanks for reading. Comments and questions are welcome.  

Be a Positive Influence

Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another. 
George Eliot

One person CAN make a difference. I was recently reminded that sometimes I can be a bit overly pessimistic. I won’t refute that claim because sometimes it’s very true. I’d be willing to admit that I need motivation and inspiration just as much, if not more, than most people. But it is possible to be a positive influence; a positive force for good in life, and not just your own. Everyone has influences. It is unavoidable to be uninfluenced by something around you. What we can focus on here is the degree to which something affects you, both positively and negatively.

Sometimes we can choose the company we keep; sometimes we are forced to be associated unfavorable people. The key to surviving and prospering in various environments and situations is to recognize the positive from the negative and then separate yourself from things that detract from your life. Clichéd as it seems, that sounds easy doesn’t it? Well, sometimes it’s not. I’ve been in situations where I couldn’t recognize the negative for what it really was and I suffered for it. There were times when I saw the negative forces in my life working directly against me, and still felt powerless to do anything about it. Why? The answer was and is fear.

We all fear the unknown, whether we’d like to admit it or not. Sometimes, we actually rather deal with the terrible thing in front of us than to cut it out of our lives and face the great unknown without that negative. It’s that fear that holds you back, and finding someone that can help you navigate the unknown waters of life is vital. That person can be you; it could be a friend, loved one, or even a stranger in a support group. The point is there is someone out there who has dealt with a situation similar to yours, no matter how outrageous or incredible it may seem. You must be open to the possibility of learning from someone else’s experience to improve your situation.

You can’t change the past. You can change the future. Use the present to move in the right direction.

Thanks for reading, questions and comments are welcome.

Don't Suffer Injustice

Douglas Clark
-Head writer, The Inspiration Engine

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

Martin Luther King Jr

     
     It would be a wonderful thing if everyone had a positive moral center. The world would be a better place if a universal moral truth existed that we could all center around, believe in, and adhere to. Sadly, an altruistic moral goodness does not seem to be something we all can share. There is a major difference between having a difference of opinion, and having radically opposing ideologies. Wars have been fought, men have killed and died, people have suffered, and lives shattered in following those ideals. But what does that mean for the common man, the individual? Having conviction for your beliefs is one thing, oppressively forcing those beliefs on others is quite another. What qualifies as sharing the tenants of a belief structure or forcing it down someone’s throat? These are deep philosophical questions that may have no definitive yes/no, right/wrong answer. So what do we do with the inevitable injustice that comes along with all of this ideological ambiguity?  Vigilance.

     Thomas Jefferson once said, “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance”. This vigilance, this eternal watchfulness for danger, abuse, and dishonesty keeps you ever aware of the actions around you. Paying attention to what is going on, what is happening around you, who is doing it, and for what reasons are fundamental in forming a foundation of morality. You will be influenced by others, you will be influenced by experiences, your education, environment, health, religion, if you have one, responsibilities, even your wealth or lack thereof. Recognizing that your perspective is not the only one is the first step into understanding what drives others to do the things (sometimes despicable) that they do. This is not to say it exonerates them or justifies their actions, but you will know more about the drive behind those actions. This understanding is important because for the most part, you cannot and will not change anyone, except yourself.

     It is almost inevitable that you will be the target of injustice. The key is to not be the victim. Accepting the ideal that you were powerless to stop another’s actions may seem reasonable, but don’t fall into the trap that just because you could not stop someone from doing something, that it means you cannot recover from it. There is always recourse. Some people delight in causing pain, anguish, misery, whatever you might call it, mostly because they are miserable themselves. In a way they are the victim; the victim of their own limited perspective hiding in a mental world of fear, or rage desperate to lash out at anyone they perceive as a threat. They will attack, they will lie, cheat, steal, cajole, and offend, sometimes overtly, sometimes blatantly; both methods are insidious. Vigilance against these forces of negativity is your first line of defense. There is however, more to life than just battling against the never ending tide of grief. 

     Keeping an open mind about your circumstances allows your perspective to mature. Accepting that you can learn from others both good and bad allows you to see the world from many angles. This multi-faceted perspective cuts through the ambiguity and helps focus on foundational elements essential to a moral center. It may be true that the whole of society will never agree on a bullet-pointed list of things that define true morality; we may never have consensus. Blindly accepting established social dogma and railing against accepted norms for the sake of social disorder are neither effective nor prudent, but centering your individual mindset is the only way to reach out. You don’t have to remain planted with your proverbial feet in the ground, but drifting along with the wind is no help either. One of the hardest things in life is holding on to a conviction that you believe to be right even when others denounce you. The other is apathetic refusal to believe in anything. It comes down to a simple fact: life is full of choices; make good ones.

 Questions and comments are welcome.  Thanks for reading. 

  

Beware of Betrayal

There’s an old cliché, “your word is your bond”.  Ever hear it?  Well in the end, it’s true.  You can have all the legal documents you want stating this or that, you can have witnesses claiming this or that, and you can promise this or that until you’re blue in the face, but ‘your word’ is more than just air across your lips.  In regards to trust, ‘your word’ refers also to your intentions, beliefs, character, conviction, and worth.  Pretty heady huh?  I know to some it might seem like I’m going too far or being a bit grandiose, but am I?  People are who they are and their actions speak silent words.  Words you can trust or distrust depending on the person and circumstances. 

I think the best answer is to stay true to your own personal convictions, reinforce in your own mind what is right, true, and honorable, and go from there.  Despite how hard you may try, you can’t change anyone but yourself.  So don’t waste valuable mental energy trying to exact change from anyone but you.  The stronger sense of positive integrity you have for yourself will reveal, in one way or the other, the negativity of the other person.  Now this isn’t a perfect answer.  It doesn’t negate the daily, or weekly, or momentary struggles you may have with this problem.  Sadly, there is not silver bullet, no magic pill, no incantation that will wash away the problem.  We must all deal with it.  Being steadfast in your own integrity will help follow you through to the other side and stay true to your own mission. 

Comments and questions are always welcome.  Thanks for reading.

Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.

Today our quote comes from Arthur Golden.

What is Adversity? 

How do you deal with Adversity?  How do you handle it?  Adversity, like a challenge, is something to overcome when driving on your mission in life.  But Adversity is something greater and much more sinister than a mere challenge.  Adversity is usually a prolonged, serious struggle, a difficult and stressful hardship that won’t simply go away or disappear if you give it enough time.  It’s the giant gorilla in the room if you will.  Sometimes it is a physical disability, sometimes, it’s a mental one.  Sometimes adversity comes from society, maybe it’s legal troubles, or persons bent on causing you distress.  Unfortunately, adversity comes in many forms, and it haunts many people in various ways.  I for one have dealt with adversity for many years.  If anyone of you has ever set foot into family court, you know exactly what I mean.  I’ve also dealt with people suffering with psychological problems, who don’t even realize the harm they are causing.  You too might be dealing with something similar, or even if it’s totally different, that adversity still remains.

Can you cope with it?

So how do we deal with this giant gorilla in the room?  I mean it’s a monster and he won’t go away.  More than likely he’s going to smash up the place.  How do we stop him?  Okay, I’m using a metaphor here, but hopefully you get the idea.  And the answer is, that giant gorilla probably won’t just go away, and he probably will smash up the place, despite your best efforts.  Now I’m not saying his to dishearten you.  No, actually I’m saying this to liberate you.  Life is full of sweet and wonderful things, but also harsh and terrible things.  Accept that.  Sometimes bad things happen, no matter your preparedness, your contemplations, you plans and contingencies.  They happen regardless.  Now, some accidents and missteps happen because you were unprepared, so by all means, try to prepare.  Know this however; unexpected things occur for which you cannot prepare.  But that doesn’t mean you have to just accept the strife and be miserable. 

Whatever your adversity is, DO NOT let it define your life.  Do not let it envelop your life or dictate every action and thought you take or have.  Your personal adversity is not your master, your adversary yes, but not your master.  Once you let it take control, burrowing deep into your mind, it will take over.  So for every thought of gloom and doom, match it with a positive one.  Let yourself experience as many positive things as possible, despite the adversity. 

Even though I know my particular and personal adversity won’t go away any time soon, I know I will NOT let it dominate my life.  If I did, my life would be consumed by it.  Even if your adversity seems insurmountable, just keep in mind there was a time when it didn’t control your life.  If you truly believe, you can take back control from it as well.  Good Luck.

If you have questions or comments, I'd love to hear them.  Thanks for reading.

Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead

-Les Brown

 

Disappointment is unavoidable

Things don’t always go according to plan.  Sometimes, things go so far off course you wonder how the heck it ever got so bad.  Even with all your planning and preparation, everything is just Fubar. So what do you do with that sort of disappointment?  How do you handle it?  I mean, it’s not like you missed the opening three minutes to a movie, or missed out on the opening pitch of a ball game.  Sure, those things can be a disappointment too, but when the weight of being disappointed gets really heavy, when it turns into a load you feel you are forced to carry, there’s got to be something you can do, right?  If you don’t change your perspective on it, that disappointment can become regret, and regret is a far worse burden to bear. 

At every stage of a person’s life, they must deal with disappointment.  This was very evident to me yesterday thanks to my daughter.  She had plans to play with a friend after school on Thursday; she was excited and looking forward to it all week, then at the last minute, plans changed because of unforeseen circumstances and the play time had to be altered.  She was crestfallen.  For a kid, play time is serious business and when it gets disrupted, watch out!  I was sad for her, but we played ball together and I tried to show her that even though she was disappointed, directing her energy and focus somewhere else was healthy.  For an eight year old, that’s not the easiest thing to do.  But it’s never too early to learn how to cope.  It’s never too early to try new techniques and develop skills to redirect that negative energy of disappointment into something positive.

Directing Your Energy

I’ll admit, I have wasted a lot of time being disappointed and feeling sad for myself.  It’s natural and we all do it.  I think allowing yourself just a little bit of time for feeling sad and downtrodden is alright.  I mean we can’t just ignore all the negative and pretend it doesn’t affect us.  But after a certain point, we have to let go of that sadness and disappointment or it festers.  Allowing one negative thought after another to distract us lays a foundation of negativity that only feeds on you and grows stronger.  If you find yourself mired in negative thoughts, chase each one with a positive one; one you know to be a fact.  Remind yourself of that fact and then let the negativity go.  Carrying that baggage around with you only slows you down and you don’t want that.  All that time and energy you dump into feeling sorry for yourself and feeding that negative energy is time you could be challenging yourself to improve and carry out your mission. 

You don’t have to be successful in quelling your inner demons on the first try.  In fact, it may take you several if not hundreds of tries to defeat those negative thoughts.  Disappointment happens, but it doesn’t have to dominate your mind frame.  Continue to try, and always go back to trying, no matter how many times you fail.  Redirecting your energies into the positive will become a habit.  Once you’re habitually thinking positively, you might find things to be brighter than you once believed. 

Go for it!

check out the details on this pick here.



In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure

- Bill Cosby

A friend of mine asked me once, what I thought of the past and what would I do to change it if I could.  Now I thought about that for a while and had a lot of different exotic and strange ideas.  My natural tendency to lean toward Sci-Fi and fantasy stories led me down a path of great adventure and amazing story telling.  But then I stopped and really thought about what it would mean to change the past, I mean really alter what has happened in my life.  How would I know what would be different if I chose not to go to college, not join the navy, not get married, not get divorced, not have a child. 

The more I thought about it, the more it dawned on me that even though I had regrets and have made some massive mistakes, I couldn’t change a thing.  You see, I have come to understand myself in a way that is much more profound and true as compared to when I was younger.  I’ve been through some really hard times, emotionally.  But I’ve learned from those experiences.  All this contemplation led me to answer my friend thusly:

"All of my regrets, all my failures, all my successes and wins, everything I've every said, felt, every relationship and friendship, my feelings, thoughts, actions, desires and dreams, my experiences and perceptions make my life what it is today. Although at times I might begrudge too harshly the negatives and under-appreciate the positive, All of these things create the essence of who I am. If I tug at the loose strings of the tapestry of my life, it would unravel into the chaotic turmoil of the unknown. Who I am would be lost. In its place would be a void. Trite and fanciful fantasies of altering my life by rearranging my past only stands to cast shadow on my future..." (I felt so strongly about this answer, I put it on my quotes page on fb, in case you find it there.)

My past isn’t perfect and neither will my future, but I’m getting better at being me every day, and in the end, that’s a pretty good thing.  I hope that you can say the same!

While there's life, there's hope.

- Marcus Tullius Cicero.   

Struggles of life

There will always be struggles in your life.  Things will always present themselves that seem insurmountable, unbelievable, and oppressive.  In short, life is a challenge.  In fact, life is the single greatest challenge you will ever face.  It’s difficult by nature, unforgiving and callous too.  You will suffer, you will despair, you will cry and you will feel sorrow.  It’s unavoidable.  But guess what!  There is good news, and it is this: There is Hope.  As our famous quote from Cicero states, while there is life, there’s hope.  Do you know what that means?  It means that life doesn’t have to be all gloom and doom.  Every moment you live is a chance to turn things around, change your perspective, find your focus, achieve your goals, and continue on your mission.  All you need is hope. 

So, what is hope and why is it special.

Pandora’s box 

The ancient Greek myth of Pandora’s Box tells us that even though the world is full of hateful, evil things, not all is lost.  Pandora was unable to resist the temptation of looking inside the box Zeus had given her, but she managed to close it before the one positive thing inside was lost; that thing was hope.  The ancient Greeks understood the power of Hope.  Hope is the power to change your perspective in order to find the positive path.  Even if all things seem lost, as long as you have hope, things might just change for the better.  Now, it takes more than hope to make a positive impact against your struggles, but hope is the start.  

Keeping your personal hope alive

In your day-to-day life, how do you prevent all the negative, dark, and destructive elements from poisoning you with despair and insecurity?  You start with being open to the possibility that things can be different.  At first, you don’t even have to believe that things Will change, just that they might or could change.  That’s where you begin.  Cherish that idea of change, nurture it with constant attention until you start to believe that change Will come.  Remember, it’s your mindset we are focusing on here.  Your hope for the future doesn’t have to be a false one, as long as you continue to develop a solid foundation of positiveness.  That’s what hope can do for you. 

It won’t happen overnight, but keeping hope alive keeps your future alive.  Believing life can change for the better is the first step in making a better life a reality.  You can do it, and it starts with Hope.

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to post.  Thanks for reading.