What is Your Why?

Douglas Clark
-Head writer, The Inspiration Engine

Why do we do it? Sometimes I wonder what it is that keeps me going? Perseverance, commitment, fortitude, diligence, they’re all great, but if there isn’t something deeper, more basic powering those qualities, you won’t really get that far in life. Quitters aren’t winners and Cheats usually get caught, sooner or later. Sure they can live the high life for a while, but there’s almost always a downfall for taking the quick and easy way; the cheap and dishonest way.

Where does that drive and fuel for continuing on when things get hard come from? Who and what, or how did it get instilled in me to not quit, to never give up? I can point to good people in my life that taught me lessons, some painful, some wonderful, but all valuable.

Maybe because when I was young, our family was so very poor, not working, giving up, and slacking off meant hunger, homelessness, and despair. Maybe it was after I got my own job and discovered I could provide for myself. Maybe it was studying through college and realizing I could excel to greater heights if I applied myself and kept learning. Maybe it was enduring the hardships of Naval bootcamp, struggling to make it through despite fatigue, distraction, the unknown, homesickness, loneliness. Maybe it was when I truly was homeless and vowed to never let that happen again. Maybe it was being a single parent, knowing a child depended on me for everything and I held the responsibility of teaching and nurturing alone. Maybe it was when I fell in love again.

Maybe, just possibly, my whole life is one great lesson in understanding that perseverance and fortitude are developed over time, given the right circumstances and influences. I may never reach a level of ultimate success or fortune. I may continue to fail just as much as I succeed. If I’m a good person and that karmatic energy is passed on, perhaps the net gain of my life is more than just mediocrity.

If that is so, I wonder just how other people manage, when they don’t have the same influences I had. Some people I’ve met excel despite mistreatment, abuse, neglect and disregard. Others flounder even after being cared for, loved, nurtured and respected.

I don’t think there is one answer. I believe certain qualities innate in people can enhance or sabotage their lives, but influences, by others and circumstances, events and chance also play a role in driving their lives forward. I guess though, in the end, we all have a choice. 

Despite and in spite of all that we see and hear, experience and learn, choosing to continue down a path we know and understand to be right is the only real power we actually have. Like Neo in the Matrix, I choose to persevere. It’s my choice. That is my ‘why.’

What’s yours?

Thanks for reading.

Questions and comments are welcome.  

Fortitude is in the Mind

Stay strong in body and mind

Have you ever been accused of being stubborn?  Are you stubborn?  Being single minded about an objective or goal is actually a very good thing.  It keeps you focused.  I call it fortitude.  Applying your personal strength and conviction to a single goal helps achievement, but what about applying fortitude to life in general.  What good is that and what purpose does that serve? Well, having the strength of mind to withstand the pains and adversity of life is a pretty valuable asset don’t you think?  I’ve talked about perseverance and how it aids you on your life’s mission and keeps you going toward your goals.  But perseverance isn’t enough.  That’s right, you need fortitude.  Being able to keep going is one thing, being able to maintain your mindset and inner strength as well is totally different.  There will be a time when challenges in your life beat you down so much you might think you’ve lost.  But if you have a solid foundation of who you are, what your values are, and why you have them, well that’s fortitude, and you can take comfort from that; draw strength from that and carry on.

Why bother?

The only person that will always be with you throughout your life is you.  You better like that person’s company if you’re going to find any value in your life.  I know a person who has compromised everything they ever held dear because they thought it would be easier to attain what they wanted.  That person was wrong.  I know another person that never bothered to set any life goals, look toward the future or bother to develop a strong sense of self worth or conviction.  That person’s life is very unhappy. 

I’ve had my values tested, my convictions called into question, but I’ve always focused on who I was, what I wanted and what I valued.  When I weighed the options and saw what compromising my ideals would bring, I chose the right path.  Fortitude isn’t just about being strong.  It’s about believing in yourself when things go wrong, look terrible and you doubt everything.  When I got divorced, everything seemed go to wrong, then get really bad, and then get horrible.  I was hungry, homeless, penniless and thousands of miles away from family.  Let me tell you, sleeping out on the street for a few days really tests your fortitude.  I made mistakes, chose poorly, and didn’t listen to common sense.  I paid the price.  But because I took the time to re-examine my path, but stay strong to my convictions, I steered back toward my goal, and continued on my mission. 

Getting through the bad times can be done.  I know it from experience.  Don’t give up.  Stay strong.  You never know when things will turn around. 

Thanks for reading, post a question or comment.  I’d love to hear from you.

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