Be a Positive Influence

Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another. 
George Eliot

One person CAN make a difference. I was recently reminded that sometimes I can be a bit overly pessimistic. I won’t refute that claim because sometimes it’s very true. I’d be willing to admit that I need motivation and inspiration just as much, if not more, than most people. But it is possible to be a positive influence; a positive force for good in life, and not just your own. Everyone has influences. It is unavoidable to be uninfluenced by something around you. What we can focus on here is the degree to which something affects you, both positively and negatively.

Sometimes we can choose the company we keep; sometimes we are forced to be associated unfavorable people. The key to surviving and prospering in various environments and situations is to recognize the positive from the negative and then separate yourself from things that detract from your life. Clichéd as it seems, that sounds easy doesn’t it? Well, sometimes it’s not. I’ve been in situations where I couldn’t recognize the negative for what it really was and I suffered for it. There were times when I saw the negative forces in my life working directly against me, and still felt powerless to do anything about it. Why? The answer was and is fear.

We all fear the unknown, whether we’d like to admit it or not. Sometimes, we actually rather deal with the terrible thing in front of us than to cut it out of our lives and face the great unknown without that negative. It’s that fear that holds you back, and finding someone that can help you navigate the unknown waters of life is vital. That person can be you; it could be a friend, loved one, or even a stranger in a support group. The point is there is someone out there who has dealt with a situation similar to yours, no matter how outrageous or incredible it may seem. You must be open to the possibility of learning from someone else’s experience to improve your situation.

You can’t change the past. You can change the future. Use the present to move in the right direction.

Thanks for reading, questions and comments are welcome.

Most of us regard good luck as our right, and bad luck as a betrayal of that right.

- William Feather (read about him here)

Disappointment can be a hard thing to deal with, especially if you’ve worked really hard at something.  Putting forth real effort to reach your goal, to drive toward your mission is always a great achievement, but there’s something so deflating when you don’t reach your goal due to no fault of your own.  Sometimes, things or people get in your way and you fail, not because you didn’t try, but because your efforts were thwarted by circumstances, or by other people.  Unfortunately, you may encounter people in your life who actually try to sabotage your endeavors.  Sometimes they do this because they are ignorant of your aims and inadvertently get in the way.  Sometimes, they are deliberately vindictive or jealous, and actively attempt to ruin your work.  Yes, there is that type of ugliness in the world and I’m sure you have experienced it.  I myself have been the target of nefarious individuals at one time or another in my life.  And let me tell you it is not pleasant. 

It would be one thing to fail because you gave up, or because you simply weren’t good enough, but when another individual deliberately stands in your way and tries to make you fail, it’s a despicable thing.  So how do you handle that?  What do you do?  It would be a cope out to say ‘just live with it’ and it would also be dismissive to say ‘just think positively.’  Those cliché type pieces of advice don’t really help at all.  If you really do have someone that is deliberately trying to sabotage your goals, the best thing to do is eliminate them from your life.  Cut them out completely and do not let them back in.  I knew someone that took every opportunity to try and degrade me, insult me, slander my name and deliberately lie about me to try and influence people to dislike me.  I know the quality of my character and anyone worth knowing would take the time to get to know me as a person, not just the lies of a malcontent trying to break someone down instead of building themselves up.  As soon as I cut off all contact with that person and redirected my life on a new course, guess what!  My life became so much more enjoyable, meaningful, and most of all, positive. 

You DO NOT have to allow negative, self-interested and destructive people into your life.  If you have found someone like that has crept in, evict them.  You are the one that has to live your life and the world will make it difficult just by its nature.  Don’t assist the forces of despair and negativity.  Situate yourself so positive, uplifting people can assist you in your goals, and help drive you toward your mission.  That way, when disappointment does strike, it will have much less power than it would otherwise.  Positivity is great, but structuring your life to accentuate the positiveness of the people around you is even better.  Go ahead, set yourself up for success!