How Did This Happen?
A few months ago I found myself stuck in a malaise. Every day was a repeat; not much happened
except the same old same old. In
December of 2011, I finished my master’s degree, three years of classes,
including three and a half semesters of thesis writing. It was an incredible effort, but I
finished. Mentally and intellectually I
need some time off, so that’s what I did.
Before I knew it, I got stuck in a rut and felt mired in the bland boringness of doing nothing. For a while
I wasn’t sure what to do. I mean I knew
that I wanted to start writing again and make some headway on my novel. But the thing was, I wasn’t writing, not one
word. Well, my one saving grace was this
blog. Other than that, I had abandoned
my passion. And that needed to
change.
I also remember thinking that it was about time I started learning how
to play my saxophone. See, I played for
a little while back in grade school. I
really liked it but had absolutely no discipline to practice. So about two
years ago I bought one with the intention of taking lessons. Sadly, no money ever materialized for said
lessons and the sax sat in my closet unused.
Fast forward to March 2012. Here
I was with time on my hands, desire to challenge myself, but still I wasn’t
doing anything. How did that
happen? Simple, I got caught in a
fallacy. I had convinced myself I need
outside influences and resources to achieve my goals and follow my mission… but
I was wrong.
During a conversation with my brother it came to the point where he
said to me, “Maybe you’re not really a writer.
I mean, you aren’t writing.” And
you know what? I took offense to that,
without knowing why. And then it hit me,
he was right. Damn him but I wasn’t
writing, I was making excuses. And then
he said it, the line that resonated through my brain. If indeed I was a writer, “every day you
don’t write, is a failure.” Harsh? Yes, but necessary. It was then I decided that I WAS a writer and
I WOULD write every day, or at least make the attempt. I also decided that I was going to teach
myself how to play the sax, I mean really, what was stopping me except me?
Having a Plan Helps
My plan was simple: Write 500
words a day and practice the sax for 10 minutes every day after work. For one whole month I adamantly followed the
routine, without fail. I focused on my goals;
I prioritized my time, and constantly reminded myself of the failure I did not
want to cause. Now I stay focused, and
even though I don’t write or practice Every
day (schedules and responsibilities do change) I am constantly reminding myself
of the price of failure, and refocusing my efforts to maintain as much
consistency as possible. Do I fail? Sadly yes, Do I continually fail by not
refocusing on my passion? Not a
chance.
Every day I don’t write is a failure.
Now reword it for yourself: “Every day I don’t ____ is a failure.”
Thanks for reading. Your comments and questions are always welcome!
This wonderful picture came from sitebits. Check them out. The sculpture is The Thinker, by Auguste Rodin.
