What Happens When You Lose Your Heroes?

Perhaps you’re aware of the almost unbelievable story of Lance Armstrong. Recent news of a supposed doping scandal washes away the mystique of his once shinning accomplishments. What he seemed to accomplish in winning seven consecutive Tour De France cycling races was an inspiration to millions of people. After his exposure as a cheat, not only do his accomplishments seem tainted, but so does the inspiration he ignited in those who followed and supported him. Sadly, cheating is not exclusive to Team Armstrong. Apparently he did it the best, until he got caught, but there is an culture of cheating in many professional sports, not just cycling. So what do we do with this information? How can we look to heroes for inspiration when those heroes are frauds?

Hopefully we all have at least one person we can look up to and admire. They don’t necessarily have to be heroes, but if they are honorable, trustworthy, loyal, ethical, moral, the list goes on actually, but if they are positive role models, their contribution to your life can be astoundingly positive. You can use them as character examples and emulate their virtue. This person can be a teacher, parent, friend, boss, relative, neighbor; good people come without titles. Learning to recognize them is a bit difficult sometimes, but you can if you try. I’ve had people in my life that I’ve always admired and I’m glad for their presence. Other people are less fortunate in that they haven’t been exposed to quality people. That doesn’t mean the virtues I spoke of earlier are inaccessible to them. No. In fact, even if you don’t have honorable people in your life, it’s still possible to acquire those values that lead to a positive, successful life.

You are the single greatest ally in your life. Ridiculous? No, it’s true. As cliché as it may sound, every choice and action you commit to is yours. You will most undoubtedly be influenced by those around you, your environment, experience and the like, but ultimately it comes down to you. There was a time in my life when everything was terrible. Seriously. I had nothing to look forward to, I was miserable, stuck in a situation with negativity and abusiveness surrounding my daily life. Loneliness and despair crept in and eventually I ended up alone out on the street, without even a tormentor to keep me company. And I’ll tell you, it’s exactly what I needed. I realized I was the driver of my life. If I made good decisions and followed through on them, good things would happen. I’ve stuck to that and wouldn’t you know it, my life is pretty good. It’s not perfect mind you, but I’m light years ahead of where I was.  

Everyone’s experience is different. It won’t be easy. In fact, it may seem impossible, but it’s not. If you need help, find it. Asking questions and seeking information are two great ways to get started. Don’t live another day in misery. Think about it, if you do nothing different, in five years you’ll be in the exact same situation, only it will be five years worse. Don’t let that happen. The struggle for a good life is better than apathy in a miserable one. Don’t give up!

Marvel superheroes, especially the Hulk and Spiderman have been personal favorites of my since I was a kid. Check them out at Marvel. 

Thanks for reading. Comments and questions are always welcome. 

Supporting Alex's Lemonade Stand

I stood there, my legs were tired, my feet hurt, I was sure I had a sunburn, and all I really wanted to do was sit down.  But I still had about an hour and a half to go. You see, on Saturday, July 28^th, I volunteered to help out at Alex’s Lemonade Stand. It’s a charity drive that donates 100% of the money collected from lemonade sales to help fund researching a cure for pediatric cancer. The mother of my daughter’s friend has been hosting a local chapter for several years now on the corner right by her house in North Park. I’ve helped out the last three years and for the last two years in a row, we’ve reached the goal we set. I would serve the lemonade, hold the bright yellow signs and wave them while I stood in the street trying to get drivers’ attention.  I’d talk to passersby and let them know what was up. I drank several cups of lemonade myself; all I had was a few bucks on me. But you know it’s not so much the exact dollar amount we raise, it’s the effort involved behind it. This all means something greater than just lemonade. This year we were trying to reach $12,000, but half way through the day, we were hovering around $6000 and no one was quite sure we’d make it.

The day for a lemonade stand volunteer is hard, long, stressful, but it’s also entertaining, rewarding, and dare I say it, fun! The local radio station 94.9 FM San Diego set up a booth and broadcast music all day long; well except when there was a live band playing, which was about half the day. There was a silent auction as well as face painting for the kids. You see it’s not just about selling lemonade, it’s about celebrating life and good times with the community, neighbors, and the people you love. 

My child doesn’t have cancer. I don’t personally know any children that have cancer either. However, I do know cancer is a terrible thing. An adult friend of mine is battling it right now. My dearly departed grandmother had breast cancer, although it was when I was very young and I don’t remember it. My other surviving grandmother had cancer as well. Cancer is one of those awful diseases that devastates its victims, and stabs at the hearts of their loved ones. Cancer has no remorse, no pity, empathy or mercy. It just does what it does, and it won’t stop unless we make it stop.

Doctors have devoted entire careers to helping people with cancer and researching cures and treatments. Countless man hours have been spent in the lab struggling for a breakthrough, an insight, an answer, anything that can help fight Cancer’s wrath. Eating right, taking care of yourself and making wise health choices sometimes aren’t enough and the doctors know that. Sometimes, there’s still nothing they can do. Even with all of their efforts they still come up short. I can’t know what it’s like, knowing that after devoting a life to science and helping patients, what it feels like to fail the ones who needed you the most. I don’t know what it’s like to be lying there on a bed, being ravaged by a disease that refuses to relent. There are so many ways I can’t help the doctors with their research, the patients with their pain, or their families with their helplessness. 

I do know one thing though. In some small way, if all I can give is my time, I can make it mean something. I don't have to be rich, I don't have to have political powers or connections, I don't have to be a genius to help out. So I stood on a street corner, like all the other volunteers and I helped sell lemonade. And at the end of the day, we raised over $12,000 dollars. After we hit our mark, I only half jokingly said, "Next year let's shoot for $15,000." Until we end Cancer's reign of terror, everyone will struggle in one way or another.  I figure the few aches and pains I suffer from being on my feet the whole day is a small price to pay.

Thanks for reading. Comments and questions are always welcome.

Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.

Today our quote comes from Arthur Golden.

What is Adversity? 

How do you deal with Adversity?  How do you handle it?  Adversity, like a challenge, is something to overcome when driving on your mission in life.  But Adversity is something greater and much more sinister than a mere challenge.  Adversity is usually a prolonged, serious struggle, a difficult and stressful hardship that won’t simply go away or disappear if you give it enough time.  It’s the giant gorilla in the room if you will.  Sometimes it is a physical disability, sometimes, it’s a mental one.  Sometimes adversity comes from society, maybe it’s legal troubles, or persons bent on causing you distress.  Unfortunately, adversity comes in many forms, and it haunts many people in various ways.  I for one have dealt with adversity for many years.  If anyone of you has ever set foot into family court, you know exactly what I mean.  I’ve also dealt with people suffering with psychological problems, who don’t even realize the harm they are causing.  You too might be dealing with something similar, or even if it’s totally different, that adversity still remains.

Can you cope with it?

So how do we deal with this giant gorilla in the room?  I mean it’s a monster and he won’t go away.  More than likely he’s going to smash up the place.  How do we stop him?  Okay, I’m using a metaphor here, but hopefully you get the idea.  And the answer is, that giant gorilla probably won’t just go away, and he probably will smash up the place, despite your best efforts.  Now I’m not saying his to dishearten you.  No, actually I’m saying this to liberate you.  Life is full of sweet and wonderful things, but also harsh and terrible things.  Accept that.  Sometimes bad things happen, no matter your preparedness, your contemplations, you plans and contingencies.  They happen regardless.  Now, some accidents and missteps happen because you were unprepared, so by all means, try to prepare.  Know this however; unexpected things occur for which you cannot prepare.  But that doesn’t mean you have to just accept the strife and be miserable. 

Whatever your adversity is, DO NOT let it define your life.  Do not let it envelop your life or dictate every action and thought you take or have.  Your personal adversity is not your master, your adversary yes, but not your master.  Once you let it take control, burrowing deep into your mind, it will take over.  So for every thought of gloom and doom, match it with a positive one.  Let yourself experience as many positive things as possible, despite the adversity. 

Even though I know my particular and personal adversity won’t go away any time soon, I know I will NOT let it dominate my life.  If I did, my life would be consumed by it.  Even if your adversity seems insurmountable, just keep in mind there was a time when it didn’t control your life.  If you truly believe, you can take back control from it as well.  Good Luck.

If you have questions or comments, I'd love to hear them.  Thanks for reading.

While there's life, there's hope.

- Marcus Tullius Cicero.   

Struggles of life

There will always be struggles in your life.  Things will always present themselves that seem insurmountable, unbelievable, and oppressive.  In short, life is a challenge.  In fact, life is the single greatest challenge you will ever face.  It’s difficult by nature, unforgiving and callous too.  You will suffer, you will despair, you will cry and you will feel sorrow.  It’s unavoidable.  But guess what!  There is good news, and it is this: There is Hope.  As our famous quote from Cicero states, while there is life, there’s hope.  Do you know what that means?  It means that life doesn’t have to be all gloom and doom.  Every moment you live is a chance to turn things around, change your perspective, find your focus, achieve your goals, and continue on your mission.  All you need is hope. 

So, what is hope and why is it special.

Pandora’s box 

The ancient Greek myth of Pandora’s Box tells us that even though the world is full of hateful, evil things, not all is lost.  Pandora was unable to resist the temptation of looking inside the box Zeus had given her, but she managed to close it before the one positive thing inside was lost; that thing was hope.  The ancient Greeks understood the power of Hope.  Hope is the power to change your perspective in order to find the positive path.  Even if all things seem lost, as long as you have hope, things might just change for the better.  Now, it takes more than hope to make a positive impact against your struggles, but hope is the start.  

Keeping your personal hope alive

In your day-to-day life, how do you prevent all the negative, dark, and destructive elements from poisoning you with despair and insecurity?  You start with being open to the possibility that things can be different.  At first, you don’t even have to believe that things Will change, just that they might or could change.  That’s where you begin.  Cherish that idea of change, nurture it with constant attention until you start to believe that change Will come.  Remember, it’s your mindset we are focusing on here.  Your hope for the future doesn’t have to be a false one, as long as you continue to develop a solid foundation of positiveness.  That’s what hope can do for you. 

It won’t happen overnight, but keeping hope alive keeps your future alive.  Believing life can change for the better is the first step in making a better life a reality.  You can do it, and it starts with Hope.

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to post.  Thanks for reading.