How Long is Too Long?

By Douglas Clark

Do dreams have an expiration date? How do we know if and when we have devoted more than we should to a dream not yet realized? What a terrible and practical question posed against such a wondrous and uplifting things such as a dream. I guess for me a reality check every once in a while towards my dreams is necessary. That check is a gauge in assessing just how successful I've been at reaching for that goal, or more specifically, taking stock in what I've actually done to accomplish that dream.

Specifically my dream of becoming a published writer is still up in the air. Granted, my thesis is in the University Library and I have all of my blog posts. But let's face it; that is nothing compared to my novel being published by a big name publisher like Simon & Schuster. So I'm not officially published yet. And it has taken me years to get this far. So do I give up on my dreams? What I've noticed is not so much the time it's taken but the effort to get published in that time. Fact is, I could be submitting more, I could be soliciting more advice, searching for editors, submitting more, (yes I am repeating myself) but I haven’t been doing all that. 

So no, I don't give up on my dream. I re- focus, because just writing is not enough. For any writer, writing is vital and should always take an important role, obviously. But the constant effort to market and draw attention to my work as a writer must also take center-stage. To that end I’ve started investigating self-publishing to get the ball rolling. You see, I’m trying something different. And that’s very important.

My dreams are certainly different than yours. Each dream needs to be championed or it will forever remain an unrealized Spectre. The dreamer, if he or she truly wants that dream to manifest itself, owes it to themselves to do it with vigorous abandon. You might think, “no one cares about my dreams” and you're probably right. Well almost right, You care about your dreams. So you have to be the one to nurture, care for, and champion them.

That reality check I was mentioning earlier, it's not an excuse to give up on your dreams and let them die. It's not a waste of time either. New direction and invigorated effort can be the jolt a dream needs to get going and build momentum towards a joyous day when you can say, “I did it”, and mean it. It’s the effort that counts. Langston Hughes asked, what happens to a dream deferred. Well I would say don't defer it. Champion it! Demand it! Make it happen. Don't abandon your dreams. Give them wings to fly.

Thanks for reading.

Questions and comments welcome.

What a Disappointing Turn of Events

By Douglas Clark

About a year ago I applied for a job and had an interview that went great. I related very well to my potential new boss and his team, the work seemed interesting and the prospects of advancing appeared good. Everything looked like a good fit. After leaving the interview, I not only expected a job offer, I knew they would extend one. 

What I didn’t anticipate was the lackluster benefits package they would ultimately offer. Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t expect a silver platter full of gold. What I got, however, amounted to only about one thousand dollars more than I made at the time, only at the new position I would be doing twice the work. Also, the healthcare and retirement package was almost nonexistent. 

Needless to say, I felt a bit perplexed. It’s a major thing to uproot yourself from a long standing position. One needs at least a bit of enticement to make such a switch. Obviously, I didn’t take the job. It led me to realize though, there’s nothing more deflating and de-motivational than getting socked with the knowledge that all your efforts resulted in something less than favorable or desired.

So how do you handle disappointment? It doesn’t have to be a job offer. It can be a sporting event, a diet goal, a physical challenge, pretty much anything. If you put effort, time, money, and devotion into something and the result falls woefully short of your expectations, what do you do? For me, I just kept trying to find a new position that fit my expectations, skill set, and professional needs. I just kept trying.

Now it’s kind of hard to just keep at something if you continually fail. So in that regard it’s necessary to reexamine your goals, your approach and your reasoning for pursuing that dream in the first place. This is where it gets unpleasant. You see, you might find that the dream and goal you work so hard for will never come to fruition. Certain obstacles might just be too big. That’s a hard pill to swallow. And believe me, I’ve given up on a few things in my life, like being six foot tall, running a mile in less than eight minutes, playing basketball, for example. Now everyone has limitation and difficulties, but the hard part is realizing they might be getting in the way of you achieving that goal you set out for yourself. That hurts.

However, we all have skills and abilities that set us apart from others. Many of these skills and abilities may lay dormant simply because you don’t explore them. Clearing away old and tired, unsuccessful habits can open up possibilities never imagined beforehand.  If you reexamine your goals and approach you might realize something else can take your old pursuit’s place and still provide a meaningful return. 

There will always be sorrow and lingering doubt when/if you stop pursuing a dream. Thoughts like, “If I just gave it a bit more time, I might have made it”, or some such. If you turn that around and say something more positive like, “I’m free to pursue something new and exciting with a real possibility of success now”, you might just find new motivation and energy that you thought you lost, or didn’t know you possessed in the first place.

Remember, every end can be a new beginning.

Thanks for reading.

Questions and comments are welcome.

DouglasHClark.com

There Be Dragons Here!

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

T. S. Eliot

So I’ve debated what to do about this sketch I’ve been working on for a while. And by a while I mean over a year and a half. Granted I’m not really a ‘good’ artist, although I can make it seem like I’ve got a bit of talent. Really though, painting, drawing, sketching, pretty much anything artistic beyond writing is probably a distant second when it comes to depth in my talent pool, but I still like trying. I took classes way back in high school that taught me the basics of artistic creation but I’ve never pursued it further. However there are times I regretted that decision. Much like when I gave up on the saxophone. That’s why I go back from time to time to draw, or paint; just to see if I still can do it. For this effort, I’m rather happy with the results of the work I put into my sketch.

Now I don’t have any delusions that it will win any awards but for someone that has trouble drawing a decent circle, I think I did pretty well. The subject matter helped too. A while back, my daughter and I were at the craft store and she saw a plastic dragon; it had an incredible shape and color that immediately got my attention. She asked if we could get it and I agreed. It sat on her dresser for a while until one day I got the itch to draw it. 

You see I've always like dragons. The mythology behind them is quite amazing. In fact you can read about all sort of fascinating dragon facts if you like. With all that in mind, I began my drawing. I labored on it, put it aside for weeks, went back to it, abandoned it, tried again. Eventually I got to a point where I felt it was finished. I’m sure it could use a decent background but I get the feeling if I try anything more I’ll just ruin it. So if it looks incomplete, I’ll accept that; it’s better than destroying it. Trust me, I’ve done that before.

I wanted to share it with everyone, just to let you know even if you aren’t terribly good at something you can still get enjoyment out of it. Even if you are afraid to share something, you might just get a positive boost if you let someone see your work. Remember, we’re not perfect nor should we act like we can achieve perfection. Simply making the effort can be enough sometimes. Pushing yourself that extra bit can reveal a lot more about what you’re capable of. I recommend taking that one extra step, you might just like what happens next.

I dare you to take that step. I'd love to see what you might share!

Thanks for reading.

Questions and Comments are welcome. 

Perseverance vs. Obstinacy

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't.  

~Henry Ward Beecher

What good is a strong will if you are fighting for or against the wrong thing? I wonder that sometimes. Getting caught up in the mechanics of life, I noticed there are times when simply plowing ahead toward a goal becomes counterproductive. At that point, re-evaluation of the method, tactics, and even the very goal need to take place. All the effort in the world fails to help if the goal you work for holds no merit. So, where perseverance assists in forging ahead through the hard times, obstinacy blinds you to wrong, ineffective, and destructive behaviors that hinder success. 

Coming to this realization is difficult and sometimes painful; it can also be very hard. Admitting that you spend all that time and effort on a goal that proved unattainable is heartbreaking. But think about it this way, would you rather admit a change is needed today and start fresh, or soldier on for another month, year, or decade before that epiphany occurs? In ten years’ time you’ll be no better off, and ten years behind. Making the change now can cause grief, pain, sorrow; any number of negative emotions really. However, you might just realize after re-evaluating your current course that a new path will make things better. You might, dare I say, experience relief, joy, or even excitement at the prospect of trying something new. 

Not every problem or situation needs to be attacked with mindless obstinacy. Obstacles in life should be looked at as challenges to overcome and something to learn from, not barriers to destroy or annoyances to avoid. Life takes a lot of work. It reminds me of a very old saying: 

The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. 

~Confucius

Everything worth the effort takes time; just make sure you are putting your energies in the right place.

Thanks for reading. Questions and comments are welcome. 

21 Days to a Good Habit

There’s an old saying that I’ve heard and read countless times.  It says to form a habit you have to do something for 21 days in a row. Now usually it seems easier to form a bad habit than it does to form a good habit. Ever wonder how you fell into watching TV every night, or eating macaroni and cheese for dinner; because it’s easy. Bad habits are easy to form because they don’t take much effort, usually because they arose out of some need for a short cut. You found that short cut and BANG, it’s a bad habit. Okay, so that 21 days may be an arbitrary number, and it’s fair to say that not all people will need 21 days and some people may need more. But you should get the idea behind the premise. Doing something consistently for a specific period of time will help form patterns in your behavior that eventually becomes second nature.

So, why the hell am I bothering with all this you might ask? Easy. I want to form Good habits. Why does it seem that doing ‘good’ things for ourselves are so much harder? I’d say it’s because anything worth doing takes effort. Personally, I’m trying to add a good habit to my daily routine right now. What I’m trying to do is jog every morning, for just one mile. See, I go to the gym three days a week, but most of the rest of my time is spent not doing much physical activity at all. I’m not lazy, just not very active. And to be honest, I have a few pounds of vanity fat I want to work off. I know it seems ridiculous to try and sculpt my body to look like a Greek god, or fitness model, which is only part of the reason I’m working on this new habit. The main reason is health, both mental and physical. Being active helps the body be more healthy, running helps circulation, breathing capacity, just to name a few things. For the mind, activity helps creativity and imagination. Physical activity makes the mind work better and faster. I’ve noticed that the more active I am, the better and more consistent I am with writing and actually getting words on the page. Now that’s a good motivator, at least for me. You’ve probably heard another old saying, ‘healthy body, healthy mind’. Well I think it’s true. So I’m putting that idea to the test.

Every morning I get up at 6 am, put my jogging clothes on and head out. It usually takes me around 11 minutes to run around that mile track. Yeah, I’m a pretty slow runner. To be fair, it’s really 1.1 miles around several blocks, but that’s not really important. What is important is that for eight days so far I’ve gotten my butt out of bed that early just to do it. Now I know some of you will say ‘I just can’t do it’ and you’re right. You can’t, not with that attitude. You’re certain to fail. You have to change your mind set. Also, it’s easier to think of doing an activity just once. Don’t worry about tomorrow, or the next day, or the next week. Just worry about this one time, today. You can do something once can’t you? Even if you think you can’t, can you at least try? Remember, bad habits are formed because we’re looking for short cuts. Sleeping in or not bothering to try is a short cut. They are also bad habits. So look at trying something new as a one-day-at-a-time endeavor, 21 times in a row.

If you fail, at least you tried. If you didn’t try you’ve already failed. So give success a chance. You never know, 21 days from now, you might just be on your way to a life-long good habit that does a world of good. Go for it!

Thanks for reading. Comments and questions are always welcome. 

Don't Fear the Emptiness

I’ve often heard that when writers start a story the blankness of the white page can be a daunting adversary. I have experienced a bit of trepidation, anxiety even, when it comes to filling up all that white space. In fact, I even used to write on yellow legal pads just to avoid having to look at the emptiness of white. However, some writers find it paralyzing almost to the point where they quit writing all together. Now I suppose that painters and sculptors have similar problems at the beginning of a new project as well. Not all mind you, but some may. Personally, I’ve found a way to combat that paralyzing problem. Do you know what it is?

I write. Well, duh, that sounds simple doesn’t it? And a bit too obvious right? Let me explain. In my experience staring into the white, I’ve noticed that somewhere in my head I was worried about what might actually make it out onto the page. Questions would start creeping up on me and haunting my thoughts.  What if it’s all crap? What if I get stuck? What if it’s boring…?  You know what I say to that? So what! Really. Listen, I’ve been an editor for about eight years now, and I’ve learned a few things about polishing up narrative that is, how shall we say politely, less than stellar. Put more simply, you can’t improve something that isn’t there. So get something down on paper, no matter how horrible it may seem. You can clean it up. Hell it may turn out that what you wrote is crap, but it could lead you down a better path toward something that turns out to be gold.

This philosophy doesn’t have to be restricted to writing alone. Doing something, anything, is better than waffling over the possibility of failure and not doing anything. I believe that the only true failure is not trying. Lack of effort is the enemy of Potential. Nike always said ‘Just do it’. The wisdom of that simplicity is astounding. So, give it a shot. Try. Make an effort, and don’t fear the emptiness. Fill it up!

                                                         Photo is Feeling of emptiness. 

                                               Check out Ben Goosen's full portfolio. 

Thanks for reading. Questions and Comments are always welcome!

The problem with communication is the illusion that is has occurred.

-George Bernard Shaw.

 

It’s interesting how when you open up to people, they reciprocate.  It’s amazing how shut in and closed off a person can be if they stop communicating with others.  Have you ever noticed that most people don’t like to start conversations?  A lot of people feel intimidated and out of sorts if they walk into a room filled with people they don’t know.  And public speaking, most people fear that more than death, or so the rumor goes.  Why is this?  I think it’s because they are shut off from others, sometimes for long stretches where they never challenge themselves to try harder, do more, experience something new. 

When you open up to someone, even if it’s only one person, you get a chance to learn about who they are, what they are interested in, and what motivates and inspires them.  Just recently I was talking with a guy I know at work.  We’ve known each other for a while, but up until now, before I mentioned I was learning to play the saxohone, I had no idea he was musically inclined.  Turns out he knows how to play several instruments.  None of them are the sax, but still, I learned something, simply because I was willing to offer a little bit of information about myself, and listen to him. 

Having friends is a rewarding and enriching experience.  The more friends you have, the more rewarding experiences you can have.  If you find it difficult to make friends, or speak to those you don’t know, expand your experiences by taking up a hobbie.  I took up surfing and the saxophone, and you know what, I’ve met people who are interested in the same thing.  What is more, I’ve learned that friends I already have are interested in the same things.  Look at it like this; I’m building social bridges with multiple people.  The more bridges I build, the more I can cross and get to know more people.  The effort you put into expanding your interest pool and simply talking to people will enrich your life in ways you can’t imagine.  So, get talking!