Change Is Unavoidable

By Douglas Clark

Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.

Confucius

September! Now is the time when summer begins to wane and give way to the turning leaves of autumn. The warm and glowing sun relinquishes its hold on the day and ebbs toward early evenings and cool breezes. Begrudgingly, children marshal their courage and corral their exuberance and ready themselves for school. We all know it, some dread it. The fall is coming, it’s back to school and we all feel the pangs of change and transition.

How we deal with change can really direct our lives, toward the positive, or the negative. I have been told on many occasions that I can be somewhat negative. I would argue that I’m more of a realist than pessimist. I mean, statistics and averages exist for a reason. I don’t really see how it’s being negative to point out what usually happens in a given situation. Ah but see there’s the rub. Perhaps it’s not just being aware of the norms or averages, but being more aware of the positive ‘what ifs’. Now I know to some that might just be pie in the sky mentality. They might say being overly optimistic is just setting yourself up for failure… but is it?

Think about this: those great men and women of history, the ones that accomplished great things over great odds, do you think they concentrated more on averages, statistics, and probable outcomes? Or did they keep their mind’s eye on the solitary (and improbable) ‘what if’ goal they truly wanted to achieve? I’d say they followed the pie in the sky mentality. Doing the exact same thing everyday only gets you the exact same thing you’ve always gotten. For me, after a while the same old same old becomes like an anchor. It just drags and weighs me down. The thought of change came to me just a few days ago when my daughter went back to school. She started 5^th grade and elementary school is almost over. I know for a child the transition isn’t fully realized yet, but as an adult looking back, I understand it. Seeing that change come for her forced me to examine where I’m going and how I want my life to change. But you see, for the most part, I’m doing the same old same old and as you’d expect, I’m getting the same result. Crazy right?!

Sometimes change is subtle, sometimes it’s blunt and brutal. I’d say for the change we can control, directing it in the manner we chose is imperative. I’m working on becoming a published author, but am I making the changes necessary to achieve that goal? Yes and No. I need to focus more, daydream less, stay motivated, and be more persistent. These are the changes I need and have to make to achieve my goals. So now I just have to do it. What about you? Are you focused enough to know what needs to be done? Or are you languishing in myopic malaise? If you are, make a change! Even a small one might knock the cob webs from your mind and let some sunshine it. But hurry, autumn is upon us, and winter will soon be here. The sun will set ever earlier and you’ll have to do your thinking in the dark.

Thanks for reading.

Questions and comments are welcome.

DouglasHClark.com

Perseverance vs. Obstinacy

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't.  

~Henry Ward Beecher

What good is a strong will if you are fighting for or against the wrong thing? I wonder that sometimes. Getting caught up in the mechanics of life, I noticed there are times when simply plowing ahead toward a goal becomes counterproductive. At that point, re-evaluation of the method, tactics, and even the very goal need to take place. All the effort in the world fails to help if the goal you work for holds no merit. So, where perseverance assists in forging ahead through the hard times, obstinacy blinds you to wrong, ineffective, and destructive behaviors that hinder success. 

Coming to this realization is difficult and sometimes painful; it can also be very hard. Admitting that you spend all that time and effort on a goal that proved unattainable is heartbreaking. But think about it this way, would you rather admit a change is needed today and start fresh, or soldier on for another month, year, or decade before that epiphany occurs? In ten years’ time you’ll be no better off, and ten years behind. Making the change now can cause grief, pain, sorrow; any number of negative emotions really. However, you might just realize after re-evaluating your current course that a new path will make things better. You might, dare I say, experience relief, joy, or even excitement at the prospect of trying something new. 

Not every problem or situation needs to be attacked with mindless obstinacy. Obstacles in life should be looked at as challenges to overcome and something to learn from, not barriers to destroy or annoyances to avoid. Life takes a lot of work. It reminds me of a very old saying: 

The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. 

~Confucius

Everything worth the effort takes time; just make sure you are putting your energies in the right place.

Thanks for reading. Questions and comments are welcome.