A friend of mine asked me once, what I thought of the past and what would I do to change it if I could. Now I thought about that for a while and had a lot of different exotic and strange ideas. My natural tendency to lean toward Sci-Fi and fantasy stories led me down a path of great adventure and amazing story telling. But then I stopped and really thought about what it would mean to change the past, I mean really alter what has happened in my life. How would I know what would be different if I chose not to go to college, not join the navy, not get married, not get divorced, not have a child.
The more I thought about it, the more it dawned on me that even though I had regrets and have made some massive mistakes, I couldn’t change a thing. You see, I have come to understand myself in a way that is much more profound and true as compared to when I was younger. I’ve been through some really hard times, emotionally. But I’ve learned from those experiences. All this contemplation led me to answer my friend thusly:
"All of my regrets, all my failures, all my successes and wins, everything I've every said, felt, every relationship and friendship, my feelings, thoughts, actions, desires and dreams, my experiences and perceptions make my life what it is today. Although at times I might begrudge too harshly the negatives and under-appreciate the positive, All of these things create the essence of who I am. If I tug at the loose strings of the tapestry of my life, it would unravel into the chaotic turmoil of the unknown. Who I am would be lost. In its place would be a void. Trite and fanciful fantasies of altering my life by rearranging my past only stands to cast shadow on my future..." (I felt so strongly about this answer, I put it on my quotes page on fb, in case you find it there.)
My past isn’t perfect and neither will my future, but I’m getting better at being me every day, and in the end, that’s a pretty good thing. I hope that you can say the same!
