Can We Do Without the Trouble and Toil?

Sometimes I wonder what all this trouble and toil is for. I mean we all do it; trudge to work, struggle with responsibilities, stress over things that cause us grief. But why? Why do we do these things when we know they hold no value for us? I know that struggling against adversity and persevering through hardship builds character and prepares you for life’s ever harder challenges, but there does seem to be part of that struggle that produces nothing but negative. Take for example the problem people have with debt. I know there are a few people out there who are just pain irresponsible and don’t really care. However, I know a lot of people who are responsible, diligent, and reasonable when it comes to their money and they are still buried under a mountain of debt. Unfortunately, yours truly being one of them. Sometimes, it feels like an oppressive weight that just won’t go away, no matter what you do, and every effort you take to move forward and take a step ahead is just slammed with the reality of yet another bill, more bad news, another crisis that needs to be settled now, only to push you back even further.

I heard an old story once about a rich man who went on a South American tour. He was on a river boat excursion and talked to the old man manning the boat. The old man told him he had sailed up and down the river for decades, giving tours, catching fish, going home to his wife, children, and their little hut, and felt content with life. To the rich man, this concept seemed ridiculous, wherein he told the old man he might just invest a lot of money to create a huge tourist industry of river tours and fishing trips so when he earned enough money he could retire and live in a secluded home in the woods. The old man looked at him and just simply asked ‘wouldn’t that be the same thing I have then?’

At times I have interpreted this story differently. Sometimes the meaning of it to me is that no matter what you do, peace and security is a driving factor for all people. Other times, I’ve seen it illustrate the difference between men who desire power, and men who desire tranquility, sometimes it’s capitalism versus communism, other times it’s about the perceived inequities of life, and still others it’s a story about the foolishness of youth and the wisdom of age.

There are good times and there are bad times and as clichéd as that might sound it is true. I’d like to think that my bad times may come to an end and it would be smooth sailing afterwards. But the truth is, good and bad ebb and flow much like the river in the old man’s story. The trick is to not let the bad times drag you down too much, so much so that you drowned in your own misery. As dire as things may seem, circumstances can get better. Sometimes it takes a new perspective, and sometimes it takes sacrifice, even of things you care about or really want, if only to preserve an even greater love. I know life is not fair, but it’s your life and letting yourself get too mired in the muck and sludge that drudgery and despair bring certainly isn’t fair to you. So be good to yourself.

Thanks for reading.

Questions and Comments are welcome.

DouglasHClark.com

Take the Day Off!

So yesterday was my birthday. But for some inexplicable reason, I didn't take the day off of work. Why? I guess it's because I got so wrapped up in my day-to-day routine that I didn't stop to think that I should sit back, relax and enjoy a bit of peace and quiet. 

I think this happens far too often, not just to me, but to most people, especially the ones that have a full plate of responsibilities. Sometimes, I get so tangled in all of the things I 'have' to do, that I forget to schedule time for the things I 'want' to do, let alone actually doing them. 

Don't let that happen. The work will always be there. It's okay to relax and enjoy yourself. What do you do to relax? Are you going to relax today? Make a list of three things that you find relaxing and try to do at least two of them before you go to bed tonight. I'm betting you'll sleep better. Try it. 

Thanks for reading. Questions and Comments are welcome. 

Don't Run the Rat Race

Sometimes, I just have no idea where the day will take me. I go to work, do my chores, take care of my responsibilities, and try to make the weekend a fun and enjoyable time, before I have to go back to work and do it all over again. They call it the Rat Race. Have you ever heard of this? It’s pretty much a zero sum game where you don’t really lose, but you don’t really win much either. To me it’s a mediocre way of living. I’ve always been goal oriented. To be fair though, there have been times where my goals sat quietly in the back of my mind, buried under a mountain of crap I called responsibilities and used as an excuse to not go after the things I really wanted. For years, I wouldn’t write a word but still fantasized about being a writer. Man I was in love with the idea of being a writer for so long. That’s the danger of being a dreamer; nothing gets done. That’s why I plan, so I don’t have to worry about where the day takes me; I try and let the day worry where I’ll lead it.

Life doesn’t always work out the way we planned. However obvious that may seem, it still sucks. I wanted to be a published author by the time I was thirty. That didn’t happen, of course I have only my procrastination to blame. It’s not only writing that I procrastinated on. I wanted to be in shape and healthy. Instead, during my early thirties, I got fat, out of shape and depressed. Things really sucked for a while there. You know why, because back then I wasn’t taking charge of my life, I wasn’t working toward my goals. Basically I was drifting on a course not my own, being driven by forces I let take control. It wasn’t until I decided I needed to be in direct control that things got better.

Note I said got better, not great, or awesome, or perfect. For as far as I have come in the last few years, I still have a long way to go. Sometimes, I still struggle with that pesky procrastination. what's worse is I do suffer occasional bouts of self-doubt, a lack of confidence, and diminished self-esteem. Why does this happen? I’m sure it happens to everyone, but sometimes I get so trapped inside my own head, it’s hard to see others' perspectives. See, we talk to ourselves, some call it a conscience, and others call it an inner monologue. Whatever moniker you use, if it’s not directed in a positive way, that little voice can whisper terrible little lies; what’s worse, we can start to believe them. I’ve caught myself, just recently listening to that whisper in my head saying things like ‘you can’t,’ 'you’re not good enough,’ or ‘don’t bother trying.’ 

Don’t believe that negativity. It’s a constant battle to ward off the negative and unproductive dark side, at least for me. I know some people that seem to be positive and cheerful all the time. If I could be I would. Unfortunately I am who I am. As you are who you are. Knowing who you are is one thing; just don’t accept it as an end product. You have your whole life to make improvements. I’ve decided to keep trying, even if it takes the rest of my life to get better. Otherwise I’ll just be a slave to the day. And who wants that?

Thanks for reading. Comments and questions are always welcome.