Let's Focus a Bit...

By Douglas Clark

Most people have no idea of the giant capacity we can immediately command when we focus all of our resources on mastering a single area of our lives.

~Tony Robbins

A very big challenge for me has always been focus. True at heart, I am a day dreamer. There have been and are multiple scenarios and situations where I find myself being whisked away to a dreamland conjured up from my imagination. It's just fun to get lost in a world of my own creation. 

From a young age, if I were staring out the window of my parents’ car, watching the rain come down, stuck at the dentist’s office, bored at school, etc., I would always find myself creating fantastical narratives for me and my imaginary characters to explore. Now I never got in trouble in school or work for distractions, but I realized a long time ago that even though daydreaming and imaginations are great fodder for creating art, lack of focus can wash away all relevance those daydreams brought.

You see, focus keeps us in line. Focusing on the job at hand, getting things done, and checking things off the ‘to do’ list help you keep an organized life, but if you don’t find time to daydream, that life becomes pretty sterile. I find that sometimes when I get focused on my day-to-day chores and responsibilities, I lose that head in the clouds type mindset that helps me create.  

It took me a long time to realize balancing my life between focused responsibility and daydreaming is vital. I love to daydream and just imagine, but when I apply my focus and determination to expression– that’s when real creativity begins. For a long time I wanted to write a full novel, but it wasn't until I focused my determination and married it with my creativity did I actually finish one. 

Being good at a few, or even just one thing can bring order and meaning into our lives. I’ve often thought about my education and what type of expertise and authority it brings to my opinion about literature and writing. From my experiences and studies I know I don’t know everything, but I know enough to comment and help others improve. It’s more than I could do in a physics class. I’d be totally lost. But the written and spoken word – well I’ve done pretty good for myself learning how to use them both. 

Now obviously I still have a lot to learn. With such a diverse and growing language as English, there’s always more to know. But language is the one thing I know I’m good at, even if sometimes I need a reminder about how much more I need to know about focus. I’m not myopic in the subject matter in which I’d like to learn more, but I narrowed it down considerably from when I was younger.

Learning who you are and what you like is a long process; you change as you grow up and gain experience. Staying focused on what you want and love helps to bring clarity to your actions and direction. If you suffer from a lack of direction or focus, look at the things that are distracting you. The answer to finding focus might be staring you right in the face. Oh, and no matter how many times you get side tracked and distracted, make sure you come back to focusing on your dreams and goals. Sooner or later, staying focused on your mission will become a habit.

Thanks for reading

Questions and comments welcome.

DouglasHClark.com

Taking a Break

Long ago, on a TV schedule many of you may or may not remember there was a show called Cheers. Remember it? Well they had a theme song and it started out: “Makin' your way in the world today takes everything you've got - Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot - Wouldn't you like to get away?” 

Some of the allure to that show was the idea that other people knew who you were, and knew your name. They had your problems, other people knew how you felt and could relate to your feelings. It also offered a break from the daily grind; a place where you could relax, blow off some steam and just have fun. Being able step away from your worries for a little while is a great idea. Do you ever do it though? Think about it. We all have goals and aspirations; we all work and pay bills; we all are striving for something, but how often do you just set it all aside and relax? I’m guessing if you’re like me, you don’t relax anywhere as much as you should and even when you try, you’re still a bit tense about things.

Don’t worry, you’re not crazy. We live in an overcharged, hyper-active society. It’s hard to disconnect from our technologically dependent lifestyle. If you think about it, getting away from the electronic distractions is almost impossible. For me, I would have to get rid of my TV, my computer, my laptop, my iPhone, my radio, and my car just to eliminate the immediate distractions I have right at my fingertips. Granted I’m not going to do that, but those devices do offer a somewhat false escape from the world. The TV and internet offer entertainment but you will invariably be bombarded with commercials demanding you buy the next great thing, even though you don’t need it, same with the radio. Heck, phones nowadays are TVs, radios, and computers all rolled into one. Makes you wonder why we have any of the other things in the first place. Point is, getting away from distractions is hard, but if you try you might just find something interesting. Instead of being bombarded with commercials demanding you money, why don’t you try something completely different – A real break from the norm.

Recently I went to a dance; a waltz and polka. Now that isn’t something I try on a regular basis but I was keen to tackle something new, just for the experience. It genuinely was a break from the norm. Okay, so nobody there knew my name but I didn’t care. In fact, the entire dance was a period piece focusing on the 1800s. You wouldn’t find a TV or cell phone anywhere back then. The thing is, even if you are totally focused on your mission in life and wanting to achieve things, you really need to take a moment to look around and enjoy the moment you are in. Ever hear that old saying “stop and smell the roses”? Well it’s actually a good idea from time to time to actually take a break. At the very least you can catch your breath for the next round of insanity we call modern life.

Thanks for reading. Questions and comments are welcome. 

What Can We Learn From Silence?

When you remove the noise and chatter of life, when you remove the distractions and supposed responsibilities, when you quiet the hustling cacophony and mind numbing drivel, what do you have?  Turn off the TV, turn off the cell phone, shut the windows, click off the radio and close the door. When you pause from your day-to-day routine and allow the silence to embrace you, let the agitation of everything fall away, let yourself relax and listen to your mind as it unwinds from the unnerving tension you constantly battle. What do you hear?

Can you relax enough to allow your deep inner voice to express itself? So often our ‘responsibilities’ get in the way of our selves. We are more than or jobs, our bills, our possessions. We are our hopes, our dreams, and our passions. Or at least we should be. Some people swear by meditation, others call it prayer; others encapsulate their mental decompression in yoga, or Tai chi. Some people just sleep. It's the release from mental oppression that those people seek, and sometimes find. That release is worth pursuing. But, too often the world demands more than we can give, and like petulant youngsters, we insist on trying to rise to that demand, not realizing that we cast away our true passions for the rat race that is today’s society.

If you were to just listen to your inner voice in that silent void you created, would it speak to you? Would you listen if it did? What if you heard that inner voice tell you a truth you didn’t want to accept or confront, would it then be something you could heed? Distractions have a way of blinding us. They take away the mind’s eye’s ability to see what is truly important. I find myself constantly reminding myself that I am in this journey of life racing only against myself. Yes, I can use others as a guide, role model, inspiration, but I desperately try not to compare myself to others. When I do, invariably I start to feel less successful, less capable, and less able. Although, sometimes I can see just how much better I’ve done than others, and it makes me feel undeservedly superior. Listening to my silent void I constantly hear one very specific thing: You can do better.

I’m not a perfectionist; I’m not a workaholic; I’m not a crazed fanatic. I see others that are so driven by one obsessive goal they forsake almost everything else for their prize. I can’t do that, but I do have goals. I’m on a mission, however. I have dreams; getting published, finding true love, financial independence, freedom to travel, gaining knowledge and enlightenment, but none of them are obsessively dominant. Some might say I’m well rounded. Am I better than those obsessively driven alpha types or are they better than me? When I sit and listen to the silence I don’t hear their voices, I don’t see their dreams, and I don’t feel their passions. I feel mine.

In the end, the silence tells me that I alone exist in my mind. Cognito ergo sum as Rene Descartes would say. That’s the beginning. Fortunately, if you listen to the silence, you might learn what direction to take next. Are you listening?

Picture credit goes to: Blue energy tornado by Juri Hahhalev, www.crestock.com

Thanks for reading. Comments and questions are welcome?

The Sum Total of Your Life Should Not Reflect the Negative

Have you ever wondered why it seems so easy to lose motivation, get discouraged, become downtrodden and unhappy? At first glance it might appear that life is mostly negative, full of unpleasantness and grief; what with all the suffering and unhappiness in the world, the idea is easy to believe. But it’s not true. You might wonder though, why does the negative seem to get more attention? I would say it’s force of habit. Really! Think about your day-to-day life. Does your car break down every day? Does your cat run away all the time? Does your girlfriend break up with you repeatedly and often? Well, unless something is seriously wrong in your life, none of those things happen with enough frequency to truly be a daily event. The emotional impact, however, is significant, and that is why you dwell on it.

This morning, for no reason at all (actually there is a mechanical reason), my car decided to not start. What a pain in the ass, right? My daughter had to get to school, I had to get to work, and we both didn’t have time for this kind of inconvenience. Fortunately, we only live seven blocks from school, so I walked her there and we were only about five minutes late. I’m pretty mechanical minded and I figured my car battery was dying, so I got a jump start and the car was off to the races, sort of speak. Actually I was right off to the auto repair shop. While driving, I realized that even though this whole scenario was a royal pain, it wasn’t the norm in my life.  That’s why it was so bothersome, because it was so outside the norm. Now, my car requires maintenance and repair on occasion, some planned, some obviously not so planned. So I just have to deal with it. For the majority of the time, I get in, turn the key and drive away. So why don’t I get a giant euphoric feeling of joy every day the care works properly? Well, it’s because I expect the car to function properly.

You see, events in our lives that are unexpected, emotionally jarring, either positively or negatively make an impression. They have meaning because they wake us up from our malaise, that fog we hypnotize ourselves with. In a way that dazed phase of distraction is a good thing. It allows us to follow a routine we need to cope. But, and it’s a big but, that distraction can also make it harder to deal with the negative when it comes along, give it false power and significance. Don’t let that happen. 

Remind yourself that for every time your car breaks down, or your dog runs away, there are days, weeks, even months in a row where good, positive things happen, because you planned for them, make the right decisions and stuck with it. Life’s curving and winding roads are a test. Don’t let them distract you and become negative. Each bump in the road is a chance to regain focus. Remember, staying focused will help direct you on your life’s mission. So, keep your eyes on the road!

Thanks for reading. Comments and questions are welcome.  

Don't Pardon the Interruption

Excuse me, what?

Have you ever gotten to the point where you’re so distracted, you become distracted from your distractions?  Let me explain.  There are times when I have a chore to do, or assignment and I can’t focus.  So I find my mind wandering to something else only to wander even further into something even less productive.  Here’s an example.  I knew I needed to get some writing in this last weekend, so I sat down and tried to get into the right state of mind.  As I sat and contemplated where I wanted my story to go, my eyes wandered across my desk until I realized it needed to be straightened or I’d become buried in junk.  So I started to clean up.  While doing this I imagined my characters going about their daily lives until I realized that my desk needed a good dusting soon or the dust would require an archaeologist to clear it away.  So what did I do?  I started dusting (I don’t know any archaeologists). 

After about 20 minutes I looked down at my computer screen, which now had gone dark with its energy saver mode, so I slapped down the cover and continued to clean.  Once done, I sat down and checked my text messages.  It wasn’t until I checked the clock on my phone that I realized almost an hour had gone by.  I was like WTH?  I put the phone down, lifted the lid on my laptop and just started writing.  I managed to get a good amount of words on page, but it bothered me that such distractions could take over. 

I’ve got to concentrate!

So what do you do when you’re so unfocused, you’re distracted by distractions of distractions?  I mean it happens to all of us and it can be rather disconcerting.  For me, analyzing what happened and why works most of the time.  What it really comes down to, for me at least, is having the wrong mindset.  Have you ever told yourself “I have to get this done?”  I have, but think about what that means.  It’s the ‘have’ that frames the activity, not a ‘want’.  Everyone has chores and responsibilities that have to be done, it’s a matter of fact in daily life.  Sometimes those chores suck, are boring, are difficult, and the do provide a drain on your motivation and morale. 

I know what you’re thinking, “thanks for depressing me man.”  Sorry, so now that you’re depressed, what do we do about it?  Change your mindset of course.  Remember, perspective is how we view our lives, our dreams, motivation and ultimately our mission.  So you couldn’t concentrate, lost your focus and were distracted by multiple levels of distractions.  I’ve found when something like that happens, I need to re-examine why I’m even trying to do that task in the first place.  If it’s a chore, well, sometimes you just have to hunker down and get it done.  But I’m more interested in the hobby, you know, the thing you want to do that’s supposed to make you feel better, feel happy. 

The simple answer is: Maybe you don’t really like what you’re doing.  Too easy?  Maybe.  You could also be stuck in a rut.  Being so used to doing something you forgot that it’s supposed to make you feel energized, revitalized, and refreshed.  Solution:  Try something new.  In my example, I was trying to write.  Now I love writing, but I found I needed something else for inspiration.  Enter the Saxophone.  Playing is still creative and expressive, only in a very different way.  Once I started playing the Sax you know what I found?  It was easier to write.  I went back to writing with new vigor and stamina. 

So, try something new, if only to remind yourself how much you like your original hobby.  A bonus is you find a new activity that inspires you even more than before.  And that kind of focus is a good was to avoid distractions.  Good luck!

Comments and questions are always welcome.  Thanks for reading.