What Shapes Your Desire?

Douglas Clark
-Head writer, The Inspiration Engine

“If you greatly desire something, have the guts to stake everything on obtaining it.”

-Brendan Francis

What is want? I’m not talking about the basic wants humans all need, like water, food, shelter, and companionship. I’m asking about the want for something not needed, but truly desired. Desire can be a funny thing. It can give you direction by helping you to discard the superfluous, keep you focused, determined and motivated. But desire can also hinder your life by making you close minded to new things, ridged in your attitude and perspective, and in the worst cases, lead to obsession. Once desire becomes an obsession, there’s a whole new world of problems to deal with.

There are things I have wanted for a long time. I’ve desired them. Specifically, being a published author for one, finding true love (as cliché as it sounds), a life of leisure, and a youthfulness throughout my days. Now I’d say on a certain level, all of those things are possible, at least to one degree or another. But why do I want them? Why are my wants and desires in line with some people and wildly out of synch with others? Our life experiences and relationships help mold and create an ideal that helps to drive our life’s activities. 

I’ve often wondered about when I was 10, if we didn’t move from New Jersey to Pennsylvania, how different my life would be. It was a profound life event for me, obviously at 10 years old something like that would affect just about anyone. But how much of that contributed to who I am now? I can tell you that for the first two years after we moved, I became reclusive, much more introspective and hid inside my own imagination. I found solace in Science Fiction and Fantasy. TV, movies and stories dealing with space, time travel, other worlds, dimensions, and the like spoke to me in a way sports, hobbies, or other things could not. Eventually the want to create those things on my own took hold and there you have it. This was the nucleus of my desire to begin writing. My life altering event of moving helped spur my creative life as a dreamer and writer.

So where do you go after you’ve identified where and why you have a want? I would say judging just how powerful that want is must happen. If you truly want something, I would say a feeling of almost uncontrollable action should take place. Not so much that you are possessed, but that you feel the value of committing to that want. When you know the superfluous and extraneous minutiae of life can be done away with and you still feel fulfilled driving toward you desire, that is when that want becomes a passion. And there’s nothing wrong with passion, as long as it’s tempered with reason, otherwise you fall into the trap of obsession.  

Do you know what your wants are? Are you controlled by them? Even worse, are you so beaten down that you’ve forgotten what it is you truly want? I believe self-examination is important from time to time to make sure I am not wasting my life away. There have been times when I came to the realization that I Was completely off course. What a wonderful yet sobering feeling. Remember, as long as you are alive, there’s still time to change course. Give it a try.

Thanks for reading.

Questions and comments are welcome.

DouglasHClark.com

What Do You Need?

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need, but not every man's greed” – Mahatma Gandhi

Depending on how you look at it “What do you need?” is either a rather innocuous question or a very profound inquiry about life.  Answering that question when it comes to basic survival is easy: food, water, and shelter.  But since when has answering life’s questions every truly been easy?  If you think about it for a few minutes, what do you really need?  When I say need, I mean what do you need to be happy, successful, content; those sorts of things. 

Now I know we’ve all heard it, or said it.  It’s that line where we say we need something because it is so awesome or cool, or it would make things so much better than they are right now.  I remember thinking when I was a teenager thinking “I need a car”, or “I need to get a Playstation.”  Yeah, it’s funny how our priorities seem so out of whack when we re-examine them years later.  I obviously didn’t need a car or a playstation; the truth is I really wanted them.  And that’s a big difference, between need and want.  Sometimes it’s hard to make the distinction.

You can look at it from this perspective.  If something is going to give you lasting inner peace, contentment, or understanding, I’d say you need it.  If something is going to provide stability and security, I’d say you need it.  If something provides a distraction, fill an emptiness brought about my envy or greed, you don’t need it, you want it.  I think too often people have wants that go unfulfilled for so long, those wants become what seem like needs because nothing else will satisfy their desire.  But that still is not need.  It is an unhealthy want.  And really, what you should strive to do is eliminate unhealthy elements in your life.  Purging those destructive and limiting wants will show you what you really need.

I’ll tell you, I want a high paying job; I want a big house; I want to take trips to Europe. I don’t need any of those things.  I need to see my daughter every day; I need to give her a hug and kiss and tell her I love her; I need to express myself, mostly through writing or I feel stifled and depressed; I need to be free to make my own choices.  I guess you can say I need mental freedom most of all.  When I weigh the pros and cons of it all, most of the stuff society tells us we need, is just stuff.  Sometimes we need to be reminded of what’s important so we don’t want for things we don’t need. 

Think about it.

Thanks for reading.  Comments and questions are welcome.