Douglas Clark
-Head writer,
The Inspiration Engine
I thought I’d share a little story with you considering I just
got another sunburn despite my best efforts with sunscreen.
Okay, so for most of you, the term Hell’s Itch doesn’t mean
a damned thing. For others, they nod their head silently and recall all too
well the most agonizing pain they ever experienced.
I’ll explain.
When people get sunburned it hurts, then it itches a little,
the skin starts to peel, it looks freaky and then heals and life goes on its
merry way. But for a very select few of us, it’s not that simple. See after we
get a sunburn, and it hurts, it starts to itch a little, then a little more, then
a lot more, and then… we are dragged down a path of nightmarishly agonizing
skin torture that is absolutely hellish in every way.
Have you ever had an itch and deliberately didn’t scratch it
to see if it would go away? It didn’t right. You had to scratch it after it got
to be unbearable. Then the ordeal was over. Well, with Hell’s Itch no amount of
itching will make the irritation go away. Scratching in fact makes it worse,
but it’s so agonizing attempting to avoid scratching the itch it’s unavoidable.
So you get caught in an ever increasing cycle of painful itching that you must
scratch only to make the itching worse.
And it is absolutely agonizing…
I’ve been the sufferer of Hell’s Itch three times. And the
worst part of it is, the sunburn preceding it doesn’t have to be that bad. But
the itching gets worse and worse until you lay spasming on the floor in
convulsive twitching and shaking because absolutely no amount of scratching alleviates
the itch.
When it first happened to me, I did get a bad sunburn. The
first day was typical, but after I took a shower, all hell broke loose. The
itching mounted, got worse, became deeper, more pronounced, then intense. I
started to get anxious. What is happening
to me? I screamed. Then the fear mixes with anxiety, plus the relentless
itching. I grabbed a bottle of Aloe Vera skin cream and slathered it all over
my back right on my sunburn. I could say it was like throwing gasoline on a
fire, but to be honest, it was more like igniting a nuclear bomb on a mushroom
cloud. Holy HELL. I literally fell to the floor crying and screaming. The intensity
of the itching reached down to my soul.
Others have said it was the worst pain they ever experienced
and I completely agree.
Quickly I hit the shower scrubbed with a loofa. It hurt but
surprisingly the pain of racking a coarse loofa over burnt skin was easier to
deal with than the hellishly unrelenting itching. I turned the water to warm
because I hate cold showers and surprisingly the heat also helped.
After getting out of the shower, the itching returned almost
in full force. I contemplated the ER but resigned myself to CVS to get some
kind of skin cream. There I wandered the aisles, body shaking, spasming,
scrapping my back against any surface that could provide an edge to stop the
itch even for a nanosecond until I found a bottle of Banana boat after sunburn
itch cream. Sadly, I cannot remember the name of their product and their
website had nothing about it. (Side note: others have said that A&D
ointment, or diaper cream works wonders. Vitamin A and Vitamin D are good for
healing skin). Anyway, I bought the bottle ran home. Picking a test patch of
burned skin I applied some and waited. Within a minute the itching subsided. So
I poured copious amounts of the cream on my back. Instantly I found some relief.
I tried to lay down but ten minutes later the itch returned.
So again I lathered on more cream. Again the itch relented, momentarily. So
every ten minutes for the next three hours I glopped on a layer of this miracle
cream until finally the last application. Ten minutes when by and still no Hell’s
Itch. It was irritated and itchy but not debilitating. Then 15, then 20
minutes, a half hour went by and the agony did not return. I finally fell asleep.
Two hours later I woke up and started to feel the all too horrifying effects of
the itch mounting another tearful-causing floor-sprawling crying fest for me.
Quickly I applied more cream and beat the skin irritating demon back down to
hell.
I followed that pattern for the entire morning. Eventually
the itch became manageable. Within a day, the Hell’s Itch succumbed to my exorcism
and remained in the bowels of Hade’s basement. But the horror of my experience
remained.
I’ve since learned that antihistamines like Benadryl and
Advil Cold and Sinus also help to beat back the itching beast. Others recommend
Peppermint Oil although I’ve never tried that one. So I’ve put together an
emergency aid list of things to do if you ever have the horrid experience of
suffering from Hell’s Itch.
What to do:
1. Take a hot, hot shower – The pain is easier to deal with
than the itch.
2. Drink LOOOOOOOTs of water.
3. Take an antihistamine, then take some more (Don’t
overdose though).
4. Get yourself some A&D ointment, Peppermint Oil, (DO
NOT use Aloe Vera) and lather on as much as you can repeatedly.
5. A pillow to scream into.
Hopefully if you have someone to help you the process might
be easier. And for fuck’s sake, start using sunscreen and stay out of the sun
much as possible.
Good luck.
Thanks for reading.