Where Am I Going?

Douglas Clark
-Head writer, The Inspiration Engine

Have you ever been working on something so long you kind of lose sight of the point of it all? It’s kind of like wondering if everything you’ve done is really leading you somewhere or perhaps every choice you’ve ever made is just some random ping pong like course you’re chaotically leading through life.

I’m going to be completely honest with you. I have six months to go before I’m 40. For a long time it didn’t make any difference to me. Most of the time, age is just a number. But the more I thought about it, and the closer it approached, I realized 40 is more than my age. On May 15^th, it will mark the fact that so far, I’ve had 40 years to accomplish everything I’ve ever dreamed of.

Now that’s not to say I was on a deadline and not finishing by my 40^th birthday means I failed. Actually, it reminds me of all the time I’ve wasted. You see, I like to be busy, the more I have to do, the better I can do everything (up until I burn out that is). When I’ve got all the time in the world and I don’t have to rush or worry, or even really care what the clock says, I kind of just procrastinate. 

Remember that old cliché, “If you want something done, give it to a busy person.”? Well that is me, at least where work is concerned. When it comes to my personal goals, well, I kind of slack off. You know the feeling right?

Granted, I’ve written two novels, a host of short stories and poems, and two plus years of blog posts. But in my head, I remember all the times I didn’t write, all the times I didn’t capitalize on the few minutes here and the few minutes there I could have written just a little more. Also, I think of where I’ve been, the places I’ve visited, how far I’ve advanced (or not advanced depending on your perspective) and sometimes I wonder if I’ve shortchanged myself.

Even when I failed miserably, couldn’t achieve the goal I set, got tired, etc., I usually feel like I could have done better, or if I tried again with a different approach, I could do better. I don’t think I’m a perfectionist, but I am persistent. Putting all this together, though, I still wonder, where am I going?

To put it another way, the question I’m faced with is this: How efficient have I been with my 40 years of life? Will I do better going forward?

I could have done better; I could have done worse. The reality of it is I am where I am, simple as that. As happy or dissatisfied as I am with my life thus far, I can’t change it. The only thing I can do is try to make the next 40 years, or however much more I have left better, more enjoyable, more fulfilling and fruitful.

The future has no form. It’s my job to mold my present to help make tomorrow more to my liking.

Do you know where you’re going?

Thanks for reading.

Questions and comments welcome.

DouglasHClark.com

Thank A Veteran!

Happy Veterans Day!!!!
Thank a veteran, they deserve it.

Thanks for reading. 

A Quote Worth Thinking About

Douglas Clark
-Head writer, The Inspiration Engine


"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength."
- Corrie Ten Boom


If you find yourself worrying about something so much it takes over your life, it's time to let that thing go.
Think about it. 

Thanks for reading.
Questions and comments welcome. 

DouglasHClark.com

Happy Halloween!

Trick or Treat!!!
Have a good one and enjoy your candy.

What is Your Why?

Douglas Clark
-Head writer, The Inspiration Engine

Why do we do it? Sometimes I wonder what it is that keeps me going? Perseverance, commitment, fortitude, diligence, they’re all great, but if there isn’t something deeper, more basic powering those qualities, you won’t really get that far in life. Quitters aren’t winners and Cheats usually get caught, sooner or later. Sure they can live the high life for a while, but there’s almost always a downfall for taking the quick and easy way; the cheap and dishonest way.

Where does that drive and fuel for continuing on when things get hard come from? Who and what, or how did it get instilled in me to not quit, to never give up? I can point to good people in my life that taught me lessons, some painful, some wonderful, but all valuable.

Maybe because when I was young, our family was so very poor, not working, giving up, and slacking off meant hunger, homelessness, and despair. Maybe it was after I got my own job and discovered I could provide for myself. Maybe it was studying through college and realizing I could excel to greater heights if I applied myself and kept learning. Maybe it was enduring the hardships of Naval bootcamp, struggling to make it through despite fatigue, distraction, the unknown, homesickness, loneliness. Maybe it was when I truly was homeless and vowed to never let that happen again. Maybe it was being a single parent, knowing a child depended on me for everything and I held the responsibility of teaching and nurturing alone. Maybe it was when I fell in love again.

Maybe, just possibly, my whole life is one great lesson in understanding that perseverance and fortitude are developed over time, given the right circumstances and influences. I may never reach a level of ultimate success or fortune. I may continue to fail just as much as I succeed. If I’m a good person and that karmatic energy is passed on, perhaps the net gain of my life is more than just mediocrity.

If that is so, I wonder just how other people manage, when they don’t have the same influences I had. Some people I’ve met excel despite mistreatment, abuse, neglect and disregard. Others flounder even after being cared for, loved, nurtured and respected.

I don’t think there is one answer. I believe certain qualities innate in people can enhance or sabotage their lives, but influences, by others and circumstances, events and chance also play a role in driving their lives forward. I guess though, in the end, we all have a choice. 

Despite and in spite of all that we see and hear, experience and learn, choosing to continue down a path we know and understand to be right is the only real power we actually have. Like Neo in the Matrix, I choose to persevere. It’s my choice. That is my ‘why.’

What’s yours?

Thanks for reading.

Questions and comments are welcome.  

The God Delusion - Book Review

Douglas Clark
-Head writer, The Inspiration Engine

The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins

Richard Dawkins is an English ethologist, evolutionary biologist, and writer. He is an emeritus fellow of New College, Oxford and was the University of Oxford's Professor for Public Understanding of Science from 1995 until 2008.

Besides The God Delusion, he’s written many books. His writing career took off in 1976, when he published The Selfish Gene, which popularized the gene-centered view of evolution and introduced the term meme. In 1982, his book The Extended Phenotype explored the concept of evolutionary biology and the concept of phenotypic effects of a gene. The idea being that the genes influences are not necessarily limited to an organism's body, but can actually affect the environment, including other organisms. The Blind Watchmaker, published in 1986, argues against the intelligent design concept using the watchmaker analogy, an argument for the existence of a supernatural creator based upon the complexity of living organisms.

Dawkins is also known for being a vocal atheist and speaking out against the idea of any God-like figure responsible for the creation of the universe and man. A man of science, he presents is findings with scientific mindedness. Unflappable in his adherence to the scientific method and value of provable evidence, he provides an effective counterbalance to theologians who argue for belief in God on faith alone. 

Brief Description

Dawkins takes a logical, analytical approach in an attempt to prove his point that there is no god, and those who believe in one, are delusional. Employing scientific elements like the scientific method, logic, reason, and evidence brought to light from figures such as Charles Darwin, Dawkins leads the reader through a detailed rendering of what the world looks like when fact and reason replace faith and belief. 

Memorable quotes

“The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.”

“To be fair, much of the Bible is not systematically evil but just plain weird, as you would expect of a chaotically cobbled-together anthology of disjointed documents, composed, revised, translated, distorted and 'improved' by hundreds of anonymous authors, editors and copyists, unknown to us and mostly unknown to each other, spanning nine centuries”

“There is something infantile in the presumption that somebody else has a responsibility to give your life meaning and point… The truly adult view, by contrast, is that our life is as meaningful, as full and as wonderful as we choose to make it.”

“Do those people who hold up the Bible as an inspiration to moral rectitude have the slightest notion of what is actually written in it?”

What makes this book Unique or special….

Dawkins isn’t afraid to speak his mind, and he doesn’t really care if offends you. He writes in a way that bluntly informs the reader most things religious are really disguises for unholy things designed for nefarious purposes. Where once it meant death for speaking out against God and his doctrines, Dawkins takes liberty with society’s current free speech reality and beats up on the age old accepted belief that God is immutable and indisputable. 

He points to specific logical fallacies, misdirections, and flagrant lies religion has told over the past few millennia to disprove any deity and directs the reader to the logical alternative of Science. In his mind, religion and God are untenable when examined under the scrutiny of the scientific method and logical reasoning.

Readability

Although English, most American readers won’t have a problem following his narrative style. Occasionally he’ll refer to something clearly English, leaving the reader somewhat displaced by his analogy or reference. For the most part he is easy to follow and isn’t overly verbose. There are sections, however, that do seem to lag on, delving too far into what I felt were digressions not exactly necessary to prove his point.

Final Thoughts

Definitely worth reading. If you expect to be offended, you probably will be. If you have an open mind, you’ll find his ideas and progressions refreshing and stimulating.

Thanks for Reading.

Question and comments are welcome. 

Sweet Treats From My Past

This post brought to you by Peanut Brittle. The content and opinions expressed below are that of The Inspiration Engine.

peanut brittle

I remember the sweet treats I used to have years ago, sharing the with friends. We would enjoy each treat like every day was Halloween. But peanut brittle was always a favorite.

The wonderful ladies at my church went out of there way to make the best. You don't usually get that kind of effort.

gourmet candy

Now these days I look for care and attention to detail in the candies and treats I eat. Home Spun Brittle makes that kind of treats. Try it. You'll love it.



Thanks for reading.

Let the Emotion Out

Douglas Clark
-Head writer, The Inspiration Engine

When it comes to fiction writing I've been asked why I don't write more happy stories. I receive comments from time to time that my stories are gritty, full of emotion, profound and a lot of times, dark. My response to that is, I always strive for an emotional response. You see to me, reading is about expression. 

My experiences in life taught me to engage those feelings and come to terms with them. I guess for some writers it would be easy to put aside all of their personal experiences and just write happy stories. After all, for some writers and readers literature is an escape from reality, finding a way to disconnect from troubling things.

I've always thought of literature as exploration of the mind, dreams, feelings, fantasies, and of course the ‘what ifs’. Many times I find I want to convey a specific feeling or explore a certain possibility that my characters need or should experience. Personal growth has always been important to me and I try to challenge my characters so they too can grow and in some small way my readers can grow too.

So why can't my stories be sweet and happy? I suppose if I purposefully wrote a story specifically focusing on the happy, I could. However I have found that life resonates and provides the most meaning through a range of emotions, positive and negative. There are happy and sad moments in my stories, interludes of joy and pain, bursts of recrimination or adulation, flashes of excitement and floods of despair. The lasting effect on the reader lies in leading them through a gauntlet of emotion ending at a resolution that is satisfying and reasonable.

I've read stories where it seemed very jarring and almost disturbing learning the fate of some characters. There's been a few times where I thought Stephen King might have been a bit too harsh, even on his antagonist. But that's my simple opinion. Considering all this, perhaps it is time to focus on a happy tale of joy and fun. I'm sure there is plenty to learn and experience from a straightforward heartwarming tale.

Now where should I start, children at play, a game of chance, friends reuniting, or a first love? You see, emotions come from just about anywhere and the stories will follow. Life is like that I guess. If you pay attention long enough you'll actually learn something. I for one am still learning after all these years and I don't plan on stopping, how about you?

Thanks for reading. 

Questions and comments are welcome.

Quick Tip

Douglas Clark
-Head writer, The Inspiration Engine

Check out izea for some cool stuff.

https://izea.com/rugJ

Pictures of the Week- Spooky October, 13, 2014

Halloween is getting close and pumpkins, scarecrows, costumes, skeletons, ghouls, and ghosts will be haunting every dark corner come the 31st.

This weekend I went to a pumpkin patch and had the pleasure if seeing some good old fashioned scarecrows. Some were creepy, some were cool. Here are a few of my favorites.












The last one is my favorite. I'm looking forward to the fun of trick or treat! How about you?

Thanks for reading.

Questions and comments welcome.

How Long is Too Long?

By Douglas Clark

Do dreams have an expiration date? How do we know if and when we have devoted more than we should to a dream not yet realized? What a terrible and practical question posed against such a wondrous and uplifting things such as a dream. I guess for me a reality check every once in a while towards my dreams is necessary. That check is a gauge in assessing just how successful I've been at reaching for that goal, or more specifically, taking stock in what I've actually done to accomplish that dream.

Specifically my dream of becoming a published writer is still up in the air. Granted, my thesis is in the University Library and I have all of my blog posts. But let's face it; that is nothing compared to my novel being published by a big name publisher like Simon & Schuster. So I'm not officially published yet. And it has taken me years to get this far. So do I give up on my dreams? What I've noticed is not so much the time it's taken but the effort to get published in that time. Fact is, I could be submitting more, I could be soliciting more advice, searching for editors, submitting more, (yes I am repeating myself) but I haven’t been doing all that. 

So no, I don't give up on my dream. I re- focus, because just writing is not enough. For any writer, writing is vital and should always take an important role, obviously. But the constant effort to market and draw attention to my work as a writer must also take center-stage. To that end I’ve started investigating self-publishing to get the ball rolling. You see, I’m trying something different. And that’s very important.

My dreams are certainly different than yours. Each dream needs to be championed or it will forever remain an unrealized Spectre. The dreamer, if he or she truly wants that dream to manifest itself, owes it to themselves to do it with vigorous abandon. You might think, “no one cares about my dreams” and you're probably right. Well almost right, You care about your dreams. So you have to be the one to nurture, care for, and champion them.

That reality check I was mentioning earlier, it's not an excuse to give up on your dreams and let them die. It's not a waste of time either. New direction and invigorated effort can be the jolt a dream needs to get going and build momentum towards a joyous day when you can say, “I did it”, and mean it. It’s the effort that counts. Langston Hughes asked, what happens to a dream deferred. Well I would say don't defer it. Champion it! Demand it! Make it happen. Don't abandon your dreams. Give them wings to fly.

Thanks for reading.

Questions and comments welcome.