Thanks for 25,000!

Yesterday, my blog went over 25,000 page views. I just wanted to take a minute out and say Thank You to all of the readers who took the time out of their day to read my blog. Your support is much appreciated.

Thank you for reading.

What Does it Mean to Get Ahead?

“The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves” – William Penn

Life is about quality experiences and honorable achievements you work towards.

Life is not about getting ahead of everyone else. Life is not about accumulating every attention-getting trinket in existence. Life is not about comparing yourself to others as if they are the official measuring stick of accomplishment. Granted, I’m being completely subjective here. I know to others life might very well be solely about acquisition of power, wealth, fame, stuff; who knows. I’m sure having ultimate power might be cool, for a while; being able to buy whatever my heart desires would fulfill my wants, for a while; having people adore me and fawn all over me might be gratifying and feed my ego, for a while. 

But I’ve observed that a lot of times people compare their status with others (usually ones ahead of them) and feel as if they are not as successful or accomplished as they should be; then they lose sight of what they have in favor of what they might be able to attain. So they persist in their drive to acquire more and more, never really appreciating what they have now. This ladies and gentlemen is what is called the rat race.

My suggestion is to never start running that race, because once you do, you immediately lose. Striving to be successful is an admirable goal; one I agree with and continually work for. However, I’ve learned to follow an ideal of what my future successful self looks like, but only compare myself to where I have been and what I have achieved in the past. You see an ideal is just that; an ideal, it is not real and most of the time it’s not attainable in a realistic sense. Think of how you structure your future self’s image. Is it perfect? Maybe not but it’s probably idealistically constructed, meaning ‘if things were perfect’ played a small part in its creation, even if you weren’t consciously aware of it. So striving toward that ideal gives you focus and a goal, which is good. Comparing yourself to the past and what actually was keeps you grounded, examining real world facts.

It is unfortunately very easy to fall into the trap of thinking things like “Everyone has so much more than me,” “I’m never going to have as much as that guy,” or “I’m never going to make it.” That’s jealously talking there. In the grand spectrum of success, there will always be those ahead, and behind you. This is a fact. Worrying so much about what other people have accomplished and comparing yourself only to those that are more successful will ultimately lead to you feeling like a failure. Now it’s okay to model your actions after successful people (they’re a success for a reason); any other comparisons on success is just shortchanging yourself.

I once fell into that trap. I’d look at all the successful authors out there and lament that they succeeded where I still failed. I saw their body of published works and compared that to my unpublished writing. And I was miserable. What I failed to look at was just how much more I wrote in the last two years compared to the eight years preceding them. In the last two years I’ve written a weekly blog entry almost every week, I’ve written a Novel, and two short stories. The previous eight years I wrote only a fraction of that. So in comparison to myself the last two years have been a resounding success. And I gained fulfillment from those valuable and rewarding writing experiences. Sure I’m not published yet, but I’m light years ahead of where I was. The key there is me, not those published authors. My being jealous of them served no purpose except to make me feel like crap. So I changed my perspective. And guess what? I changed my life, yet again.  

You can do it too. I dare you. 

Thanks for reading. Questions and Comments are welcome. 

What Legacy to Leave

No legacy is so rich as honesty. (All’s Well that Ends Well -- Act iii, Sc. 5) William Shakespeare

Have you ever thought about life after your own? I’m not talking about anything supernatural, heaven, or the afterlife. I’m talking about the impression you leave behind after you are gone. It’s an unavoidable truth that one day each of us will draw our last breath and part from this world. In a way it makes all that we do and all that we say that much more poignant and precious, because we only get one chance. Think for a moment of what life would be like without you. All of society will roll on just as it has before you, only now, if you’ve done it right, you’ll have left a mark that is immutable and distinctly you. I think leaving a legacy of good behind is vital.

For argument’s sake let’s say we all have 100 years of earthly life given to us. What will you do with that time? Each life is different and unique and the choices we make mold and shape that life and us into the individuals we all are. Some of those choices are good, some bad. What we do with those lives is entirely up to us. There are those who are self-centered and egotistical, searching only for things that make themselves happy. There are those who strive for altruism and look out for others, doing whatever they can to better the lives of those around them. Many of us fall somewhere in between, which is to say we try to live good lives and occasionally put ourselves first in the pecking order of life. Now that’s not a bad thing because if you can’t take care of yourself you can’t take care of anyone else; it’s the balance between selfishness and givingness that’s the key. We can’t all get everything we’ve ever wanted, that’s just unrealistic and if you devote your life to acquisition, whether it be for fame, fortune or power, you may very well achieve those goals, but when it’s all over, what do you leave behind?

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say what you leave behind should be a positive thing. Although, it might be hard to say exactly what counts as valuable in a subjective sense; one person might say a fortune left to heirs is positive, another might say the example of a good life is better. Even others might say the propagation of their religion or ideology is paramount. So what is positive, and what counts as a lasting legacy of good?

My belief is that if you continue to learn and improve on the person you were yesterday, avoid making the same mistakes, keep an open mind, learn from other people the best you can, and never give up to apathy and despair, your life will continue to improve. Striving to an ideal is great so long as you only compare yourself to what you have achieved, not what you think you should be. We all know no one is perfect, but continual self-improvement is an example everyone that knows you can take with them and emulate, as well as pass on to others. 

Over the course of a lifetime, you can make a difference. If you continually fail, try another approach, seek advice, model yourself after those who have succeeded and keep going. If you only have 100 years to make a life worth knowing about, each moment is precious, but they are also opportunities to reassert yourself and move forward. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Think of it this way, if your life was a book, would anyone want to read about it? I for one want to leave behind a best seller. What about you?

Thanks for reading. Questions and Comments are welcome. 

Knock Knock!

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.  ~Francis Bacon

How often do you create opportunities for success in your life? You might have heard the old saying “Opportunity only knocks once,” or “When opportunity knocks, answer it”. They’re cute little sayings aren’t they? But do you notice something about the way they are structured? I’ll give you a minute to reread them….

Did you see it? Well, if you saw what I saw you’ll recognize that both of those sayings are rather passive in regards to you and what you should do. Think about it. Opportunity knocks, meaning it will come to you. Really? I’ve always had this sort of ridiculous notion that opportunity was like a cloud of positive energy that would one day float by my apartment door and lightly rap upon my door knocker. All I had to do was wait. Now I realize that’s an incredible waste of time.

If we think about what Francis Bacon says about opportunity, we should all be out hunting that misty cloud of energy trying to wring out all the opportunity we can get. And that’s exactly what you should be doing. Getting out there and making things happen is what life should be about. There’s a reason why couch potatoes aren’t wildly successful, except knowing what’s on TV; they aren’t doing anything. You can’t seize the day if you’ve already seized the couch.

Just a few days ago, I once again submitted some of my writings to a publisher. In fact, I submitted another short story and several poems. No one is going to come knocking on my door begging me to submit my stories to their magazine. So I’ve got to make those publishing opportunities happen myself. And I’m going to have to continue to foster those opportunities if I want to be successful. You might not be an aspiring author, but I’m sure there’s something positive you’d love to be doing right now; some dream you always wanted to come true…

The question is, what are you doing to make that dream come true?

Thanks for reading. Questions and comments are welcome.

Life is a Grand Thing!

I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.  ~Agatha Christie

What can we learn from dear Agatha? Well, besides her penchant for solving murders of her own design, she’s letting us know that every day we are alive is a chance to make things anew, to better ourselves and our situations and at the very least, start over.

I would argue that life is a gift. To some that might seem like a trite and superfluous statement. They might say life is just a result of natural forces coming into play. Others might argue that there’s a grand design for my life and it was ‘meant to be.’ Either way, I can’t know the answer for sure why I am alive, but I can tell you since I’m here, I’m going to make damn sure I make my time worth it.

Sometimes it is so very hard to find purpose and meaning in our own personal agonies. ‘Racked with sorrow’ is such a powerful statement. The meaning is clear; sometimes life hurts so much there seems to be nothing we can do to stop the pain. But it reminds me of another quote I once heard:

"We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way."  ~Author Unknown

There is no perfect or normal life, there’s just life. The good and the bad play an intricate part in shaping our lives and our selves. How we define ourselves out of those experiences is what matters. Persevering and overcoming the negative forges determination, but focusing on the positive is what will make you happy. It is not enough to merely survive the rigors of life. Learn from the bad, but relish the good. Choose to see the wonder life has to offer, not the pain it can bring. None of this is easy. But remember, life is a grand thing. You just need to see it that way.

Thanks for reading. Questions and comments are welcome.  

Perseverance vs. Obstinacy

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't.  

~Henry Ward Beecher

What good is a strong will if you are fighting for or against the wrong thing? I wonder that sometimes. Getting caught up in the mechanics of life, I noticed there are times when simply plowing ahead toward a goal becomes counterproductive. At that point, re-evaluation of the method, tactics, and even the very goal need to take place. All the effort in the world fails to help if the goal you work for holds no merit. So, where perseverance assists in forging ahead through the hard times, obstinacy blinds you to wrong, ineffective, and destructive behaviors that hinder success. 

Coming to this realization is difficult and sometimes painful; it can also be very hard. Admitting that you spend all that time and effort on a goal that proved unattainable is heartbreaking. But think about it this way, would you rather admit a change is needed today and start fresh, or soldier on for another month, year, or decade before that epiphany occurs? In ten years’ time you’ll be no better off, and ten years behind. Making the change now can cause grief, pain, sorrow; any number of negative emotions really. However, you might just realize after re-evaluating your current course that a new path will make things better. You might, dare I say, experience relief, joy, or even excitement at the prospect of trying something new. 

Not every problem or situation needs to be attacked with mindless obstinacy. Obstacles in life should be looked at as challenges to overcome and something to learn from, not barriers to destroy or annoyances to avoid. Life takes a lot of work. It reminds me of a very old saying: 

The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. 

~Confucius

Everything worth the effort takes time; just make sure you are putting your energies in the right place.

Thanks for reading. Questions and comments are welcome. 

Take the Day Off!

So yesterday was my birthday. But for some inexplicable reason, I didn't take the day off of work. Why? I guess it's because I got so wrapped up in my day-to-day routine that I didn't stop to think that I should sit back, relax and enjoy a bit of peace and quiet. 

I think this happens far too often, not just to me, but to most people, especially the ones that have a full plate of responsibilities. Sometimes, I get so tangled in all of the things I 'have' to do, that I forget to schedule time for the things I 'want' to do, let alone actually doing them. 

Don't let that happen. The work will always be there. It's okay to relax and enjoy yourself. What do you do to relax? Are you going to relax today? Make a list of three things that you find relaxing and try to do at least two of them before you go to bed tonight. I'm betting you'll sleep better. Try it. 

Thanks for reading. Questions and Comments are welcome. 

Today's Blessings

What are five things you are thankful for today?

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Can you fill out that list? It shouldn’t be too hard. Give it even a little bit of thought and I’m sure you could extend that list to seven or ten, maybe even twelve or more. I’m sure if you wrote a list like this once in a while it would be easy. But, could you do that list every day and not repeat the same thing two days in a row? Now, could you do that for the entire week? The entire month? How about a whole year?

You see, in my effort to retrain my mind to think more positively, I’ve dedicated myself to doing a list just like this every day for the entire month of May. Sounds silly doesn’t it? Really though, to me, it seems too easy to get caught up in negativity, counterproductive thinking, despair, all the sorts of things that get in the way of us making our lives the way we want them to be. The power of positive thinking might sound super cheesy, but how often do you deliberately think positively to improve your mood or outlook? I know a few people who are quiet adept at doing just that. However, I also know many people, including myself, that get lost in the negativity (at least for just a little bit).

I think the great effort of our lives should be investing in our experiences, our understandings, our knowledge, and our perceptions. It might be really cool to look around our houses or apartments and marvel at all the stuff we’ve accumulated. It might seem pretty neat to take a joy ride in the fancy car we own or spend a night out on the town burning through a few hundred dollars. Yeah, that might all be cool, for a while. But what else is there, if you don’t explore even the smallest of positives in your life? 

Yesterday, my list read that I was thankful for sunshine, peace and quiet, pizza, memories of good times, and friends. The day before that, all five were completely different. Tomorrow, I’ll list five new ones. There is an abundance of positiveness in this world. If you have to deliberately show yourself what that is before you can readily recognize it, so be it. Once you learn to see the good in your life without difficulty, the negative will melt away and you’ll be left with a positive glow. Anything that helps you along in your life's mission is worth it.

What’s your list going to say?

Thanks for reading. Questions and Comments are welcome. 

Is It Just a Building?

Leo Tolstoy said that to have real artistic activity, the production of something new must occur; Clive Bell said that there is a particular kind of emotion that people feel when viewing works of visual art; the structures presented in this montage all contain appreciable levels of newness and provoke emotional responses to varying degrees. Structures, for me, with their grandness, scale, purpose and position in the landscape suggest feelings of power and strength. Many of these structures also suggest longevity and perseverance. 

With each example, they present a newness, whether it be use, style of construction, symbolism, technological advance, or human ideal. The emotional power they provoke has just as much depth as from paintings, sculptures, and musical scores. The grandeur and scale of architecture act as emphatic statements of humanity’s ability to impose its will and upon nature, but also to work in conjunction and unison with it. Though the forces of nature will ultimately prevail over all of man’s efforts, the mark he leaves is not so easily erased. 

The Great Pyramid of Giza (Pyramid of Khufu) ca. 2560 BC

Flavian Amphitheatre – The Colosseum (70AD)

St. Peter’s Basilica (1626) – Donato Bramante

Big Ben and the Palace of Westminster (1834-1864) – Charles 

Barry and Augustus W.N. Pugin

Golden Gate Bridge (1937) – Irwin Morrow

US Capitol Building (1793, expanded 1850) – William Thornton et.al.

Hoover Dam (1936) Six Companies, Inc. (structural), Gordon Kaufmann (exteriors)

Statue of Liberty (1886) Frederic Auguste Bartholdi

Empire State Building (1931)  - William F. Lamb

Kremlin Complex(various construction Dates and designers) 

Do any of these structures inspire you? Motivate you? Are they art? What do you think?

Thanks for reading. Questions and Comments are welcome.

What's Your Excuse?

Excuses are the worst. We all make them, even if they are just little ones. But excuses rob us of progress. The worst thing about making excuses is that sometimes, often times we’re not even aware that what we are saying really are excuses. They may seem like practical thought-out reasons something cannot be accomplished; they may seem like a logical progression derived from the facts at hand. They may just seem comfortable and reasonable. You’ve probably heard or said something similar: “I can’t afford it,” “I don’t have enough time,” “there isn’t anyone to help me,” “I don’t know enough about it,” “I don’t want to do it alone,” “It sounds too complicated,” “It’s all their fault,” “I’m not to blame.”

At the heart of them all they are just jabs of negativity robbing us of our goals, sabotaging our successes and fueling our discontent. The trouble is, we get so used to saying and hearing these sorts of things, they become second nature, comfortable, even reliable. Getting stuck in an excuse pattern is dangerous, because that cycle of negativity feeds on itself and before you know it, your entire way of thinking is adversely affected to the point where you can’t even see the positive thing you once dreamed of attaining.

I’ve made excuses; I’ve even believed them and convinced myself I was right. For years I thought I couldn’t learn to play the Saxophone, because I didn’t have time for lessons, there was no time in my day, I didn’t have an instrument. Notice the negativity there? Well, I slowly saved up enough money and bought a sax, then devoted just 10 minutes a day to practicing and within a few months I could do it. 

I also made excuses about writing. For a long time I kept telling myself I had no time. I kept procrastinating and putting it off. I’d tell myself that in some far off distance future ‘when I had the time’ I would write. I’d say things like “When I graduate I’ll start writing,” “When I go on vacation I’ll write,” “I’ll do it on the weekend.” I convinced myself that writing existed in some vague ethereal plan of ‘the future.’ Of course that was folly. I lied to myself to cover up the truth. And the truth was that I didn’t have any discipline to write ‘now.’ I still dreamed about it and sporadically put pen to paper, but had no consistency. I’ve recounted this next part of the story before but it bears repeating. I had a discussion with my brother, who said “Maybe you’re not really a writer. Maybe you should just give up on it, because you don’t seem to care about it enough to actually write.” You see that was like a punch in the face. Me; not a writer? Who the hell was he to say that? I’ll tell you. At that point he was the person who saw through the excuses.

That discussion changed my perspective and a year later, I have the first draft of a novel completed! Once we strip away the layers of excuses and the comfort they bring we are exposed to the truth. If you really want something, you CAN make it happen. You just have to believe in yourself and your abilities. I’m not saying everything is possible, but if you really try you can reach your goals. The positive state of mind can reinforce your resolve just as much as the negative state of mind can erode it. 

Choose the positive perspective. It can start as easily as changing the way you speak. Speak in positive terms like: “I can do x,” as opposed to “I can’t do x.” I’ve been reminded of this technique recently and I’m amazed at just how negative some of my thinking has been. Find help, ask a friend and really start critiquing how you think, speak, and perceive the world. Expose the excuses and clear the road for positivity.   

"Anything unattempted remains impossible"

Thanks for reading. Questions and Comments are welcome.

What’s your favorite book?

I was an English major in college. I read a lot of books, some good, some terrible. I’ll admit though, I’ve been reading for enjoyment since I was about ten years old. I know, I’m a dork right? Ha. I remember standing in the book store at the mall (back when book stores were a dime a dozen) and agonizing over which book to spend my meager allowance on purchasing. Back then it was Dr. Who stories. Later I graduated to Isaac Asimov’s Foundation series. I’ve always been a bit of a Sci Fi and Fantasy nerd. Heck, I read Tolkien when I was 12. High School brought on a bunch of ‘classics’ that I’d rather label garbage. In college I read even more material, much of it terrible, but also some incredible gems.

One of my favorite books of all time is Possession, by A.S. Byatt. Read that in my Junior year of college. I’d say that’s number three on my all time favorite list. Number two is a non-fiction book about the human mind and how it constructs myth and morphs it over time. When They Severed Earth From Sky, by Barber and Barber will undoubtedly force you to change your perspective on religion, history, myth and the meaning of societies’ values.

My all time favorite book is Catch-22 by Joseph Heller. Surprisingly, I did not read this book in high school or college. I read it after that, while I was in the Navy.  Imagine the irony of that sort of thing, reading a book about military and societal insanity, while in the military, serving during a time of societal upheaval in the wake of 9/11. Regardless of when I read the book, it stunned and captivated me. I was intrigued and perplexed at the same time. Each character vividly came to life from the written page; each possessed disturbing yet personal quirks that made them ‘real’. I also identified with the central conundrum the book presents; that of the struggle to conform or rebel against society’s rules while being true to yourself. 

Other people that have read Catch-22 agree with me; although others have said it can be incomprehensible. The narrative is fractured a la Pulp Fiction. I think that’s what I like about it most. The story is non-linear. To me that’s like life. Yes we move through time in a linear fashion but for the most part our minds meander and oscillate from the past to the present and drift off into the future occasionally, all in a day’s time. I think the beauty of a story like that is you aren’t stuck in a traditional beginning, middle, and end. Each chapter could be the conclusion or the start; it’s all in how you look at it. That’s the real gift, the gift of perspective.

Another interesting note about that book is this. Joseph Heller taught English composition at my Alma mater, Penn State for two years. I remember being on campus. Every day after class I passed by a sign outside one of the buildings. This sign was dedicated to Joseph Heller and it made mention of his tenure at Penn State and his acclaim for writing Catch-22. After first reading that sign I told myself that one day I would read his book. Although it took me ten years to fulfill that promise, I did. Consider it a conceit that I believe one day I will publish a quality novel like Mr. Heller. And I too will have a sign somewhere on Penn State’s main campus illustrating that fact.  

If you remember I’m always saying if you change your perspective, you’ll change the world. Well, here’s another example. What’s your favorite book? Do you even have one? If you don’t I’d challenge you to pick one of mine, if just for a good example and read it. You might get something out of it, if you dare.

Thanks for reading. Questions and comments are welcome.