Taking a Break

Long ago, on a TV schedule many of you may or may not remember there was a show called Cheers. Remember it? Well they had a theme song and it started out: “Makin' your way in the world today takes everything you've got - Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot - Wouldn't you like to get away?” 

Some of the allure to that show was the idea that other people knew who you were, and knew your name. They had your problems, other people knew how you felt and could relate to your feelings. It also offered a break from the daily grind; a place where you could relax, blow off some steam and just have fun. Being able step away from your worries for a little while is a great idea. Do you ever do it though? Think about it. We all have goals and aspirations; we all work and pay bills; we all are striving for something, but how often do you just set it all aside and relax? I’m guessing if you’re like me, you don’t relax anywhere as much as you should and even when you try, you’re still a bit tense about things.

Don’t worry, you’re not crazy. We live in an overcharged, hyper-active society. It’s hard to disconnect from our technologically dependent lifestyle. If you think about it, getting away from the electronic distractions is almost impossible. For me, I would have to get rid of my TV, my computer, my laptop, my iPhone, my radio, and my car just to eliminate the immediate distractions I have right at my fingertips. Granted I’m not going to do that, but those devices do offer a somewhat false escape from the world. The TV and internet offer entertainment but you will invariably be bombarded with commercials demanding you buy the next great thing, even though you don’t need it, same with the radio. Heck, phones nowadays are TVs, radios, and computers all rolled into one. Makes you wonder why we have any of the other things in the first place. Point is, getting away from distractions is hard, but if you try you might just find something interesting. Instead of being bombarded with commercials demanding you money, why don’t you try something completely different – A real break from the norm.

Recently I went to a dance; a waltz and polka. Now that isn’t something I try on a regular basis but I was keen to tackle something new, just for the experience. It genuinely was a break from the norm. Okay, so nobody there knew my name but I didn’t care. In fact, the entire dance was a period piece focusing on the 1800s. You wouldn’t find a TV or cell phone anywhere back then. The thing is, even if you are totally focused on your mission in life and wanting to achieve things, you really need to take a moment to look around and enjoy the moment you are in. Ever hear that old saying “stop and smell the roses”? Well it’s actually a good idea from time to time to actually take a break. At the very least you can catch your breath for the next round of insanity we call modern life.

Thanks for reading. Questions and comments are welcome. 

Happy Valentine's Day

For all it's commercialization and obvious marketing, Valentine's Day is more than just a manufactured holiday. Peal back the cynicism and pessimism for a moment and think about the meaning behind the day's focus. 

Love.

Volumes can and have been written on the subject. That's right, Love is the quintessential human emotion that drives and motives nearly all 7 billion of us. Having it, wanting it, needing it; it's not just the emotion but the gifts that come with being in love. I'm not just talking about romantic love you have with a significant other, but all kinds of love, from parental love to love of a pet. We all feel the need and want to have someone or something close to us. It's undeniable. Loving and being loved gives us a deeper purpose, a fuller richer feeling that comforts us and makes us feel valued. Love lightens the mood and provides inspiration. Granted, there are some downsides to be sure, but in the end, Love is a positive gift in life.  

However, the expression of that love is another story all together. Some people find it very hard to say how they truly feel. Self expression presents a road block to truly uncovering how they feel about someone and just how much that special person means to them. 

It isn't easy for some people to say I love you. It's even harder for some people to do the right thing regarding their loved ones. If a certain amount of cynical unhappiness invades your mind today, wipe away that jaded derision and think for a moment specifically about the people that you love, and that love you. No matter where they are, near or far, if you have any feelings for them don't waste any time letting them know. As cliche as it might sound, there's no time like the present, because tomorrow may never come. Don't waste a moment. Make room for that love to flourish. You might just find that those you love will be even more expressive about how they feel. Give it a shot!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Thanks for reading. Questions and Comments are welcome.

The Comfort Zone

Recently, I was having a conversation with someone and we talked about our comfort zones. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, ‘comfort zone’ refers to the locations, activities, emotions, and individuals in a person’s life that they are frequently exposed to. Generally, a person gravitates toward those elements that bring them a comfortable and safe feeling. You might define it as your daily routine. The point of the discussion focused on pushing that zone, expanding it and giving it more depth and whether it was always necessary. Now my personal view is most people, including myself, should continually push on that comfort zone because if you don’t, it will shrink.

I’ll explain. If you drive to work and always take the exact same route, you might become so used to that routine the thought of driving a different way might make you feel uncomfortable, or even a bit scared. Here’s a personal example for you. I usually eat out for lunch once a week. There’s a Subway two blocks away that I like so I usually find myself heading down there. Now I know Subway isn’t that great, but it’s convenient and I know the people that work there, so it’s comfortable. But, I can get pretty damned tired of sub sandwiches at times. I found that I wasn’t exploring all the other possibilities around me even though I was sick of my current situation. One day I just got so sick of subs I couldn’t even finish my sandwich. That’s when I realized I needed to get out and explore, push that comfort zone. Now, I trade off. One week I’ll go to my comfortable Subway shop, the next week I’ll try a new place. It satisfies my need for stability and my need for the ‘new’ nicely.

Okay, this may seem like a trivial example to explain how one should explore new and unfamiliar things in life. I realize that, but a lot of times, people need to start out small before they can tackle the really big challenges. Wadding into more dynamic things is better than jumping into the deep end and drowning, proverbially speaking of course. I have come to understand some things about myself; one of which is, I like learning new things and exposing myself to unfamiliar situations for the experience of it. I suppose it feeds into my need for adventure and the want to write about it later. There have been many times where my efforts to push on my comfort zone have lead to story inspiration. I like that. Others, however, aren’t so in tune with their wants and desires. Others aren’t even sure they could challenge themselves in such a manner. 

As the conversation we were having unfolded, I realized that other people need far less constant pressure to give them the motivation they need to try new things and keep life fresh. That different perspective made me think more about why motivation for me might not work for others and vice versa. But as the old saying goes “You won’t know unless you try.” So I say give it a try, even if it’s just going to a different sub shop. Think about it this way, you just might find a better tasting sandwich. 

Thanks for reading. Questions and comments are always welcome. 

How Do You Define Personal Success?

What a loaded question huh? I mean success has so many different facets doesn’t it. What category should we explore: financial, romantic, physical, emotional, academic, professional, spiritual? There are so many different types of success it’s hard to qualify a statement like “I’m successful.” It’s probably better to start by asking “Where does success begin?” For me, though, personal success is the most important. I mean, I’d love to be at the top of my professional field, making millions of dollars, after earning my Ph.D., but that won’t all come at once, and it’s certainly a lot of hard work, but would all of that mean anything if my own personal parameters of success weren’t met? Knowing what success means to you is probably the single most important step in actually achieving that success. If you really didn’t know where you were going or why you were pushing so hard for something, even if you achieved that goal, it probably would hold little value, at the very least when you were done, it might feel like a hollow victory.

My guess is even if your dreams and aspirations are vastly different from everyone else’s, if you hold a truly vested interest in what you are doing, you’ll find a whole lot more satisfaction in the endeavor. For a long time, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life, I bounced, I made odd choices, and I traveled around the world searching for something that would give me fulfillment. What I eventually realized is this. There’s nothing in this world that will fulfill my deepest desires and wants. Fulfillment and contentment come from within. Sorry to get all Zen on you, but if Buddha was here, he might agree with me. Throughout all my travels, my imagination and want for telling stories never diminished, never went away. I always had a story in my head, I always nurtured the desire to write. It wasn’t until I put aside other distractions that I realized writing is not only what I want to do, it’s what I need to do. Interestingly enough, it took me several more years after that realization to seriously commit to writing regardless of publication success. That’s where my personal success began to flourish. When I write, I feel successful, and that makes all the difference to me. In fact, I just received yet another rejection letter for a submission I sent in for consideration. But you know what, I'm good with that, because getting that letter is just confirmation that I'm trying.  

Like I said, personal success is the most important type of success to me. I think if you find that, the other types of success will follow, at least in some small part. Of course, there is no guarantee of reaching financial success because you’ve found your true professional calling. There’s a lot of starving artists and actors out there who are totally happy pursuing their dreams. But on the other side, I’m sure there are a few investment bankers swimming in cash that are just a bit unhappy that they sold their souls for monetary gain. As I’ve said before, finding balance in your life makes things worthwhile; knowing your own definition of success, makes it that much easier. Good luck.

Thanks for reading. Questions and Comments are welcome.