You Gotta Have Fun

Sometimes there’s just no substitute for a good time.  No matter how focused, determined, motivated, or dedicated you are, you have to put it aside and just do it.  Fun means different things to different people, obviously, but there’s a difference between ‘FUN’ activities and ‘Relaxing’ activities.  Sitting at the park or on the beach is relaxing but how fun is that compared to riding on a wicked cool roller coaster, or going down a water slide, or even riding your bike?  Okay, I’ll admit that ‘what is fun’ can be very subjective.  I’m sure some people would even argue doing algebra equations is ‘fun’ but I think the majority of us would disagree with that little bit of logic.  I think fun should be a heart racing, laugher inducing, or wide-eyed wondering activity.

For some people, fun is a bit of an elusive creature.  Social awkwardness and timidness can get in the way.  Fear of embarrassment also makes it hard.  One major thing I’ve noticed is the fall back excuse of “I didn’t have anyone to go with”.  That’s the worst isn’t it?  Ever go to the movies by yourself?  I have and you know what, it’s great.  Movies are meant to be watched, so if you had someone with you there, you ‘d basically have to ignore them the whole time.  That’s why a movie is a terrible ‘date’ idea.  Anyway, doing things alone can be daunting, scary even.  Sometimes it might seem damn near impossible.  If you have trouble trying things all by yourself, invite someone to come along, even if they probably won’t be interested.  At least you tried.

Sometimes inviting someone to go have ‘fun’ can lead to interesting conversations and suggestions.  For a long time I always wanted to go surfing but never actually went because I’d have to go by myself.  One day I was talking about it with a friend and he invited me to go with him.  I had a blast.  Now, surfing is hard, and I still suck, but I went and had fun.  Now I can go by myself and still enjoy it!  Right now I’m thinking of learning how to fly a plane.  I think it will be hard, but really Fun.  But I won’t know until I try. 

An Extraordinary Life

Are you living the life you always dreamed of?  Probably not, and at the risk of sounding like some kind of salesman, I say that you could.  You just need to learn how.  But unlike that sleazy salesman, I’m not offering a quick and easy trick to get that extraordinary life.  Unfortunately, it will take a lot of hard work.  Think about that phrase for a moment, ‘An Extraordinary Life.’  Extra-ordinary, as in more than ordinary, meaning more than the same old same old. Well it’s that ‘extra’ that is the real trick isn’t it (no pun intended)?  Extra hard work, extra dedication, extra attention, extra drive, extra effort, extra need, extra want, and extra motivation; these are just a few of the elements necessary to achieve that Extraordinary life.  Do you have what it takes?  You probably won’t know unless you try.

Making the attempt is the first step.  However, whoever said the first step was the hardest might not have been completely accurate.  It gets harder the farther you go, but guess what, if you really try, if you really learn from your experience, you get better as you go along.  So even though the steps are more difficult, you’re better from the experiences and you will be up for the challenge. 

Sitting in your office chair, standing in front of a burger grill, hauling trash, folding laundry; are these extraordinary jobs, careers that will propel you to new heights?  Probably not, and if they don’t sound like pulse-pounding, heart-throbbing events, you might want to find that motivation to excel.  I’m not talking about quitting a job you hate for the hell of it.  I am saying you should find a calling that means something to you and pursue it.  You might find that it isn’t even your job you need to change, just your hobby.  I’ve known for a while there is so much more to life than I’m experiencing.  What I’m starting to learn is how to go after those experiences.  I’m learning how to reach out and grab the world and earn that special something that continually spurs me on for even grander and greater experiences so that in the end, I lived an Extraordinary Life. 

If you boil it down and really examine life, the only one really truly standing in your way is you.  So get out of your own way and lead yourself to a life less ordinary.  It only takes a little bit Extra ;-)

The Book of Life

From a very young age I’ve always thought of my life as like a book.  Events and experiences filled the pages as life goes on, eventually creating chapters, some better than others, some funny or sad, meaningful or boring, but all part of me.  I started reading a lot when I was about 12 so I’m sure that had a lot to do with this mindset.  I was fascinated by the whole process of writing and it almost boggled my mind that a writer could actually put together a coherent story, sometimes spanning hundreds of pages and make it entertaining.  I thought that it would be cool to try that too.  I first put pen to paper to tell an original story when I was about 16.  I haven’t stopped since.  Granted, I’ve procrastinated and went years without writing an original work.  For that I have excuses, but no good reasons. 

Okay, so why is this important and how does it relate to life?  For a while I listlessly meandered though my life, the chapters I was ‘writing’ were boring, uninspiring and sometimes even destructive.  I came to the realization that if I didn’t change things, the rest of my ‘Life Book’ would be akin to a horror story.  Not one of ghoulish monsters and cheap theater scare tactics, but one of failure, waste of potential, minimal effort, and loss.  That horror jolted me into action.  People talk about awakenings and how they see things with new clarity; that’s exactly what it was like for me.  I learned to crave the new, desire experiences to help me grow and evolve as a person.  Writing those ‘chapters’ became inspiring, motivating, cathartic.  By filling those pages of my life with valuable and positive experiences I knew I was living a life worth living. 

Like many people, I hope my Book of Life is a long, awe-inspiring masterpiece that provides me with a margin of immortality.  I don’t have to be ultra-famous (but it would be nice), I don’t have to be ultra-rich (but it would help) but I do want to be the best I can be.  I know that sounds cliché, but if one day, I looked back on my life, and ‘read’ through my book and saw that those pages were left blank, or filled with apathy, despair, and waste, I think that would be the true horror.  At least making the attempt, I know I tried.  If I live up to my own potential, I can be the greatest asset in my own life.  That is true for anyone!  

Own the Moment!

Everyone has fear.  Everyone has doubts and trepidation of the unknown.  Trying new things, going through a routine or situation totally unfamiliar can be unsettling and unpleasant.  Many people shy away from the new, the ‘out of the ordinary’ for that very reason.  I know; I was one of them.  I used to be the perennial wall flower.  I used to be so shy it was crippling.  The fear of failure, the anxiety of not knowing the outcome, the inexperience of dealing with things ‘on the fly’ all got in the way of my quest to tackle life and make it not only one worth living, but one worth telling about too.  As a writer, I feel I need experiences to enrich and enliven my stories, my characters, narrative, plot, and as an aside and a bit selfishly, broaden my own personal horizons too.  But how can you broaden your horizons if you’re afraid to reach for the edge of the world?  You can’t.

            So what do you do?  Socialization was an agonizing mystery to me for the longest time, but I really wanted to get to know people.  I used to think to myself, “It would be so easy to talk to people, if only they’d start the conversation…”  And that’s when it hit me!  What if everyone else felt that way too?  What if I could take that burden away from them?  It would all be so much easier.  But how would I, a cripplingly shy person start a conversation?  The answer is simple.  I would have to Own the Moment!  For just one minute, when I said “Hi”, “How’s it going?”, or “What’s going on?” I could be that socially competent, confident guy everyone likes to be around.  And if I failed, who cares.  That attempt would count as my victory and I’d try again. 

            That one moment where I committed to my goal, focused, determined, unafraid, would drive me.  That brief but intense feeling of living, experiencing every ounce of vitality and life would be my inspiration.  I forced myself to try and interact with whoever I was near, simply for the practice, and the experience.  And those times where I least felt like putting myself on the line, possibly making a fool of myself or screwing up, that’s the time I committed to Owning the Moment even more.  It’s that damned Comfort Zone again, if you don’t push on it, it shrinks.  It’s relentless that way.  But so must we! 

            There’s an old saying: “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away”.  It’s true and I think it means that the experiences you have can and will affect you deeply if you let it.  But there’s one thing I’ve learned about life.  It doesn’t just happen to you; you have to make it happen.  Motivate yourself.  Be the Breathtaker and Own the Moment!

Join In!

What does it mean to get involved?  Do you have to be a group organizer or the life of the party?  Does it mean rallying a ton of your friends to get things started, or go door to door getting people motivated?  Or is it something simple?  At the very least joining in means doing something, anything other than the same old stuff.  Have you ever thought about doing something that looked fun or interesting but ‘never got around to it’?  How horrible would you feel if you spent the rest of your life thinking about it and then never did it?  Regret is so very heavy; carrying it around with you can be de-motivating, especially if it’s for regret of not having ever tried.  I’d hate that.  Joining in can simply mean getting involved with your life. 

An old girlfriend of mine, who I’m still friends with, has a self-realized joy of wanderlust.  She can’t stay in one place for very long before she needs to go explore something new.  I’m intent on learning the saxophone, even though I have no music ability whatsoever.  I’ve said many times to my friends, family and anyone who listens that often times it’s the attempt that counts, not the result.  Attempting is doing, and doing is winning.  Why, because at the end of the day, if you never even tried, you’ve already failed. 

Getting involved in your own life is probably the most rewarding thing you can do.  I’ve watched as friends followed their dreams with fierce determination and drive and succeed!  It’s an awesome thing.  I’ve also watched friends languish with inactivity and malaise, with the constant complaint that ‘life sucks’ or ‘nothing ever changes’.  It’s actually pretty sad to see.  Remember, the common denominator throughout your entire life is you.  Make that factor a force to be reckoned with!

Motivation and Desire

Have you ever noticed that sometimes, inspiration isn't enough?  Sometimes you can have that killer, awesome idea, but you just can't do anything with it.  How is that possible?  I think it has a lot to do with motivation and desire.  Having a great imagination and inspiration are key elements to the creative process, but they aren't the whole story.  Motivation and desire are the 'action' elements of creativity.  Those two things are the ones that get you off your butt and actually 'doing'.  I've had incredible ideas and then done Nothing with them. Why?  Because I wasn't motivated.  The idea was there, but nothing about my life and my situation powered the drive to actually go out and do something with it. 

To actually act upon your inspiration and creativity, you have to get to what H. Peyton Young called the 'tipping point.'  He was discussing communities and their moments of change, but the same can hold true for individuals.  You need a shock or disruption to really get you moving.  Now it's true that sometimes inspiration alone can be that shock, but many times it isn't.  I think that forces in your life, be they external, but more likely internal, are instrumental in implimenting change.  Acting upon the inspiration and creativity will change your life if you let it.  I know for myself, when I combine inspiration and creativity with motivation and drive, I get a sense of almost euphoric possibility.  That's an awesome feeling.  If you've experienced it, you know what I mean, if you haven't, challenge yourself and you might feel it too. 

Give it a shot, you've got nothing to lose...

Carpe diem versus Do it Now!

Is there a difference between seizing the day or doing something right now?  They both carry the connotation of immediacy but when you think about it, there is a huge difference between the two.  If you ‘Do it now’ it’s immediate and spontaneous; there’s nothing wrong with taking advantage of right now.  In fact, I would say that doing things right when you think of them is a great hedge against procrastination.  There’s no time to second guess or get anxious.  Taking action immediately avoids the otherwise inevitable self-doubt and regret.  The rewards can be great too.  How many times have you done something on the spur of the moment and it turned out to be one of the best times of your life?  I think we all have stories like that.

But sometimes action without contemplation is unrewarding, even dangerous. Second guessing can and is very important; life-saving even.  I know we all have stories about how we should have just taken an extra moment to think about the consequences.  It happens and we all make mistakes. The key is to learn how to identify the positive spontaneous moments and the negative thoughtless ones.

Seizing the day, however, is a different, though similar concept.  I see it as taking advantage of what you have before you to the fullest.  Recognizing the positive elements of a situation to not only make the best of it, but drive the situation toward an eventful, enjoyable, learning experience that enriches and benefits your life.  This requires not just being spontaneous, but being expediently contemplative or ‘thinking fast’, keeping in mind the obvious possible positive and negative outcomes.  So what does this mean?

I’d say seize the day now, just think about it…quickly!

Being the Malcontent

 

Okay, so I’m not advocating revolution or dissent, but I am thinking about changing the status quo.  I’m contemplating the innovation of change.  Not just rhetorical change that politicians spout, but real, positive, life-improving change.  Have you ever just done something the same way for so long it seems alien to you to even attempt doing it a different way?  The familiar pattern is so engrained in you that the discomfort that accompanies change can seem overwhelming.  I understand that, but have you ever noticed that sometimes (actually lots of times) with no change comes stagnation. 

Stagnation is detrimental to experiencing the new.  It saps creativity and inspiration and clouds your mind’s eye to something fresh.  Case in point, driving home from work is a chore, but I go a certain way because I know it to be the fastest.  What I noticed was, after a while, I stopped noticing things: The scenery, the buildings, the road signs.  I recall thinking that I didn’t even want to go home because it was the same old boring trip.  So, I went a different way.  Okay, I wasn’t transported into a fantastic wonderland (wouldn’t that have been cool?), but I made a conscious choice for change. It at least made the trip home more enjoyable.  Point being, I experienced something different, albeit a very small difference, but it made me feel better. 

Being a malcontent with the status quo is a good thing.  When things are always the same nothing different will ever happen.  I’ve learned that experiences both good and bad help foster an innovative and creative spirit. New experiences demand that the status quo be broken. Now, every day doesn’t have to be completely random and unpredictable, that would be chaos (although for a time it might be fun).  But shaking things up and refocusing your attention, energy and thoughts to something new will drive new experiences.  I’ve come to understand, at least for me, the new is an exciting thing, one to be sought after.  Now you might not be as adventurous, but focusing on your malcontent state and deliberately scrambling it up a bit will benefit you a little.  At least it might show you just how good things are right now.  If they aren’t good, well then, maybe you’ll just find yourself in the middle of a personal revolution.  Trust me, it can actually be a good thing. 

 

What’s Your Medium?

Sometimes self expression comes naturally.  Sometimes it has to be cultivated.  Knowing where and how to communicate your creative desire is not only helpful but necessary.  Imagine a singer trying to draw a picture, or a sculptor trying to write a novel.  Communicating your vision through the wrong medium can cloud your message and discourage you from continuing. 

Why is this important?  Experimentation is critical in finding your voice and medium.  I know this seems obvious, but sometimes trying something completely new and outside your comfort zone is exactly what you need to excel.  I’m primarily a writer, but I also draw and sketch.  Now I’m not the greatest artist in the world but doing my little doodles gives me another avenue for expression.  It also helps to get my imagination working in different levels.  I’ve also tried learning to play the Saxophone.  Okay my efforts haven’t born any fruits.  Trust me you don’t want to hear that cacophony. But the point of it all is doing it. 

My daughter is a picky eater.  It’s hard to get her to try anything new.  She also loves bacon (smart girl).  But there was a time when she wouldn’t even try that.  I always ask her “Remember when you wouldn’t try bacon? Imagine your world if you had no bacon.  Seems pretty grim to me”.  She begrudgingly tries the new food I give her and lo and behold, now she loves salami. 

What I’m getting at is the attempt, the force of ‘the new’.  I was writing a story and just kind of threw it in the narrative that my main character wanted to learn how to play the piano.  That little characterization turned into a major force in the story and made it all the more rich and interesting.  Sometimes taking a new direction can alter things considerably and in a good way.

Remember, pushing on your comfort zone is the only way to keep it from shrinking.  Trying new forms of art and expression will help focus your vision.  It will also help you find direction.  It worked for me.  You’ve got nothing to lose.  Give it a shot.