Thursday, July 19, 2012

What Do You Need?


“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need, but not every man's greed” – Mahatma Gandhi



Depending on how you look at it “What do you need?” is either a rather innocuous question or a very profound inquiry about life.  Answering that question when it comes to basic survival is easy: food, water, and shelter.  But since when has answering life’s questions every truly been easy?  If you think about it for a few minutes, what do you really need?  When I say need, I mean what do you need to be happy, successful, content; those sorts of things. 
Now I know we’ve all heard it, or said it.  It’s that line where we say we need something because it is so awesome or cool, or it would make things so much better than they are right now.  I remember thinking when I was a teenager thinking “I need a car”, or “I need to get a Playstation.”  Yeah, it’s funny how our priorities seem so out of whack when we re-examine them years later.  I obviously didn’t need a car or a playstation; the truth is I really wanted them.  And that’s a big difference, between need and want.  Sometimes it’s hard to make the distinction.

You can look at it from this perspective.  If something is going to give you lasting inner peace, contentment, or understanding, I’d say you need it.  If something is going to provide stability and security, I’d say you need it.  If something provides a distraction, fill an emptiness brought about my envy or greed, you don’t need it, you want it.  I think too often people have wants that go unfulfilled for so long, those wants become what seem like needs because nothing else will satisfy their desire.  But that still is not need.  It is an unhealthy want.  And really, what you should strive to do is eliminate unhealthy elements in your life.  Purging those destructive and limiting wants will show you what you really need.

I’ll tell you, I want a high paying job; I want a big house; I want to take trips to Europe. I don’t need any of those things.  I need to see my daughter every day; I need to give her a hug and kiss and tell her I love her; I need to express myself, mostly through writing or I feel stifled and depressed; I need to be free to make my own choices.  I guess you can say I need mental freedom most of all.  When I weigh the pros and cons of it all, most of the stuff society tells us we need, is just stuff.  Sometimes we need to be reminded of what’s important so we don’t want for things we don’t need. 

Think about it.



Thanks for reading.  Comments and questions are welcome.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Take Care of Yourself


When we are Young



When we are young, our parents and family have a responsibility to take care of us.  As we grow, they should take the time to nurture and protect, teach and instruct.  As children, sometimes we don't understand why those things are important or what the bother is, but children have a voracious appetite for learning.  That learning should be encouraged and reinforced as much as possible.  Teaching children to look at things from multiple perspectives and to have an open mind prepares them for the massive amount of conflict and confusion life has to offer.  Parents should teach by positive example so children can adjust to life as an adolescent and eventually as an adult.  But what happens when parents fail at preparing children for life?

Children are smart and capable. They can learn to cope, but if they aren’t given proper guidance, their coping skills will be inadequate and inefficient.  I do my best on a daily basis teaching my daughter how to cope, even with things that are upsetting, difficult, and troubling.  Don’t get me wrong, I focus on the positive, but it’s impossible to ignore the negative aspects of life and expect things to turn out okay.  

Unfortunately, I know people that have terrible coping skills because their parents taught them nothing positive.  What happens is an unfortunate cycle of negativity that accomplishes nothing but keeping those people in a dark place. They aren’t really capable of taking care of themselves, because what they learned was piecemeal, ad hoc, and unguided.  The consequences of this are devastating.  I have experienced an element of this.  Someone I know keeps asking advice only to ignore it, and sometimes gets mad at me if they don’t like what they hear.  I have experienced having this person lash out at me and people I know for odd reasons.  Now you might find yourself in uncomfortable situations where the other person takes out their frustrations on you, or someone you know.  You must recognize that they aren’t able to cope well and what they are doing is the only coping mechanism they have.  They aren’t able to take care of themselves properly.


What to Do


If you find yourself acting like this, stop.  It might be hard, but recognizing there is a problem is an amazing first step in solving it.  Some of you might remember the GI Joe cartoon.  At the end, there was always a Public Service Announcement where one of the characters would say “Knowing is half the battle.”  It’s true.  Part of earning to take care of yourself properly requires recognizing if you aren’t doing a very good job if it right now.  Sometimes, getting through to a person with this problem is impossible.  But I would suggest that you start with yourself. 

Remember, you can’t really take care of someone else if you can’t even take care of yourself.  There’s no shame in asking for help either.  Sometimes it takes a simple request for assistance.  If you can learn to accept your faults and rise above them, you can take those first difficult steps in becoming self-reliant.    


Comments and questions are welcome.  Thanks for reading.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Don't Pardon the Interruption




Excuse me, what?

Have you ever gotten to the point where you’re so distracted, you become distracted from your distractions?  Let me explain.  There are times when I have a chore to do, or assignment and I can’t focus.  So I find my mind wandering to something else only to wander even further into something even less productive.  Here’s an example.  I knew I needed to get some writing in this last weekend, so I sat down and tried to get into the right state of mind.  As I sat and contemplated where I wanted my story to go, my eyes wandered across my desk until I realized it needed to be straightened or I’d become buried in junk.  So I started to clean up.  While doing this I imagined my characters going about their daily lives until I realized that my desk needed a good dusting soon or the dust would require an archaeologist to clear it away.  So what did I do?  I started dusting (I don’t know any archaeologists). 
After about 20 minutes I looked down at my computer screen, which now had gone dark with its energy saver mode, so I slapped down the cover and continued to clean.  Once done, I sat down and checked my text messages.  It wasn’t until I checked the clock on my phone that I realized almost an hour had gone by.  I was like WTH?  I put the phone down, lifted the lid on my laptop and just started writing.  I managed to get a good amount of words on page, but it bothered me that such distractions could take over. 

I’ve got to concentrate!

So what do you do when you’re so unfocused, you’re distracted by distractions of distractions?  I mean it happens to all of us and it can be rather disconcerting.  For me, analyzing what happened and why works most of the time.  What it really comes down to, for me at least, is having the wrong mindset.  Have you ever told yourself “I have to get this done?”  I have, but think about what that means.  It’s the ‘have’ that frames the activity, not a ‘want’.  Everyone has chores and responsibilities that have to be done, it’s a matter of fact in daily life.  Sometimes those chores suck, are boring, are difficult, and the do provide a drain on your motivation and morale. 

I know what you’re thinking, “thanks for depressing me man.”  Sorry, so now that you’re depressed, what do we do about it?  Change your mindset of course.  Remember, perspective is how we view our lives, our dreams, motivation and ultimately our mission.  So you couldn’t concentrate, lost your focus and were distracted by multiple levels of distractions.  I’ve found when something like that happens, I need to re-examine why I’m even trying to do that task in the first place.  If it’s a chore, well, sometimes you just have to hunker down and get it done.  But I’m more interested in the hobby, you know, the thing you want to do that’s supposed to make you feel better, feel happy. 

The simple answer is: Maybe you don’t really like what you’re doing.  Too easy?  Maybe.  You could also be stuck in a rut.  Being so used to doing something you forgot that it’s supposed to make you feel energized, revitalized, and refreshed.  Solution:  Try something new.  In my example, I was trying to write.  Now I love writing, but I found I needed something else for inspiration.  Enter the Saxophone.  Playing is still creative and expressive, only in a very different way.  Once I started playing the Sax you know what I found?  It was easier to write.  I went back to writing with new vigor and stamina. 

So, try something new, if only to remind yourself how much you like your original hobby.  A bonus is you find a new activity that inspires you even more than before.  And that kind of focus is a good was to avoid distractions.  Good luck!


Comments and questions are always welcome.  Thanks for reading.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

It Always Comes Down to Focus



How Did This Happen?

A few months ago I found myself stuck in a malaise.  Every day was a repeat; not much happened except the same old same old.  In December of 2011, I finished my master’s degree, three years of classes, including three and a half semesters of thesis writing.  It was an incredible effort, but I finished.  Mentally and intellectually I need some time off, so that’s what I did.  Before I knew it, I got stuck in a rut and felt mired in the bland boringness of doing nothing.  For a while I wasn’t sure what to do.  I mean I knew that I wanted to start writing again and make some headway on my novel.  But the thing was, I wasn’t writing, not one word.  Well, my one saving grace was this blog.  Other than that, I had abandoned my passion.  And that needed to change. 

I also remember thinking that it was about time I started learning how to play my saxophone.  See, I played for a little while back in grade school.  I really liked it but had absolutely no discipline to practice. So about two years ago I bought one with the intention of taking lessons.  Sadly, no money ever materialized for said lessons and the sax sat in my closet unused.  Fast forward to March 2012.  Here I was with time on my hands, desire to challenge myself, but still I wasn’t doing anything.  How did that happen?  Simple, I got caught in a fallacy.  I had convinced myself I need outside influences and resources to achieve my goals and follow my mission… but I was wrong.

During a conversation with my brother it came to the point where he said to me, “Maybe you’re not really a writer.  I mean, you aren’t writing.”  And you know what?  I took offense to that, without knowing why.  And then it hit me, he was right.  Damn him but I wasn’t writing, I was making excuses.  And then he said it, the line that resonated through my brain.  If indeed I was a writer, “every day you don’t write, is a failure.”  Harsh?  Yes, but necessary.  It was then I decided that I WAS a writer and I WOULD write every day, or at least make the attempt.  I also decided that I was going to teach myself how to play the sax, I mean really, what was stopping me except me?

Having a Plan Helps 

My plan was simple:  Write 500 words a day and practice the sax for 10 minutes every day after work.  For one whole month I adamantly followed the routine, without fail.  I focused on my goals; I prioritized my time, and constantly reminded myself of the failure I did not want to cause.  Now I stay focused, and even though I don’t write or practice Every day (schedules and responsibilities do change) I am constantly reminding myself of the price of failure, and refocusing my efforts to maintain as much consistency as possible.  Do I fail?  Sadly yes, Do I continually fail by not refocusing on my passion?  Not a chance. 

Every day I don’t write is a failure.  Now reword it for yourself: “Every day I don’t ____ is a failure.”

Thanks for reading.  Your comments and questions are always welcome!


This wonderful picture came from sitebits. Check them out.  The sculpture is The Thinker, by Auguste Rodin.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Smile, It's Friday!

Well, for me it's been a rather exhausting week.  Battling certain problems repeatedly really drains you of creative energy. That's what makes it so amazing that it's Friday.  I LOVE the weekend.  And I hope you do too.  It's a time to really just let all your stress and worry melt a way, even if it's only for a short while.  Remember, whatever may be causing you pain or distress doesn't have to command your life 24/7.  You are allowed to relax and feel good about yourself sometimes.  I promise it won't hurt.

Happy Friday.

Check back next week for another motivational post for Inspiration!

Until then, don't be afraid to share what's on your mind.  I'd love to chat!


Thursday, June 14, 2012

Fortitude is in the Mind


Stay strong in body and mind

Have you ever been accused of being stubborn?  Are you stubborn?  Being single minded about an objective or goal is actually a very good thing.  It keeps you focused.  I call it fortitude.  Applying your personal strength and conviction to a single goal helps achievement, but what about applying fortitude to life in general.  What good is that and what purpose does that serve? Well, having the strength of mind to withstand the pains and adversity of life is a pretty valuable asset don’t you think?  I’ve talked about perseverance and how it aids you on your life’s mission and keeps you going toward your goals.  But perseverance isn’t enough.  That’s right, you need fortitude.  Being able to keep going is one thing, being able to maintain your mindset and inner strength as well is totally different.  There will be a time when challenges in your life beat you down so much you might think you’ve lost.  But if you have a solid foundation of who you are, what your values are, and why you have them, well that’s fortitude, and you can take comfort from that; draw strength from that and carry on.

Why bother?

The only person that will always be with you throughout your life is you.  You better like that person’s company if you’re going to find any value in your life.  I know a person who has compromised everything they ever held dear because they thought it would be easier to attain what they wanted.  That person was wrong.  I know another person that never bothered to set any life goals, look toward the future or bother to develop a strong sense of self worth or conviction.  That person’s life is very unhappy. 

I’ve had my values tested, my convictions called into question, but I’ve always focused on who I was, what I wanted and what I valued.  When I weighed the options and saw what compromising my ideals would bring, I chose the right path.  Fortitude isn’t just about being strong.  It’s about believing in yourself when things go wrong, look terrible and you doubt everything.  When I got divorced, everything seemed go to wrong, then get really bad, and then get horrible.  I was hungry, homeless, penniless and thousands of miles away from family.  Let me tell you, sleeping out on the street for a few days really tests your fortitude.  I made mistakes, chose poorly, and didn’t listen to common sense.  I paid the price.  But because I took the time to re-examine my path, but stay strong to my convictions, I steered back toward my goal, and continued on my mission. 

Getting through the bad times can be done.  I know it from experience.  Don’t give up.  Stay strong.  You never know when things will turn around. 

Thanks for reading, post a question or comment.  I’d love to hear from you.



Check out this picture and others here.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Pictures of a San Diego Excursion

I realized it's been a while since I posted some original photos from my excursions in and around the San Diego area.  Recently, my daughter and I went to the Wild Animal Park in Escondido.  It was a decent time.  I would recommend, that if you are going there, make sure you get on the trams and safari tours.  You simply can't appreciate the place the way its intended if you don't.

We did get a lot of walking around done, and with an eight year old, that's saying something.  I did get a few pictures taken, several of which came out well, so I thought I'd post them up for your consideration.  Remember, I'm not a professional photographer, just a novice.  Hopefully I've captured something that will inspire you.

Enjoy!

View of Wild Animal Park

This is a great view of most of the park from a balcony.  The picture doesn't do the landscape justice, I'm afraid.

A subtle little waterfall

Here's a little waterfall along one of the walking paths.

A beautiful pink flower

This was my favorite shot of the day.  I'm not sure what flower this is, but the color just blew me away.

A standing crane


This guy wouldn't stand still for very long so I'm surprised this shot came out at all.  Looks like I got lucky.


Exotic Trees

These trees struck me as other-worldly.  Talk about exotic.

I took a lot more but these are my favorites.  Sometimes, I get a real blast of inspiration for my writing when I look at certain pictures.  Hopefully you'll get a sense of that too.  Feel free to comment or ask questions.  Thanks for reading, and viewing!

Tripado Review - Pentax Zoom II Binoculars

Thanks for watching.